I got up this morning, dressed and headed out the door to meet Kim for our run. 3 miles were on tap. It was warm, but I didn't care, I was going to log those 3 miles... for Boston, for ME! I wasn't going to give up for anything.
When we finished our 3 miles, we walked to cool down and then stretched. When we parted ways, dawn was breaking and I knew I was going to get a reward on my way home. I got in my car and headed for the interstate.
The moment I turned onto the interstate, the most beautiful sunrise greeted me. The sky was blue and there were clouds here and there, but the most beautiful orange and pink sunrise was bursting forth from the sky. It was a beautiful sight to behold, a beautiful moment in time. It was my moment, my sunrise, my reward for a job well done. I'm so thankful for the beauty God has created.
I came home, got the kids off to school, did my 60 squats for the squat challenge and then took another child to school. Then I promptly fell asleep on my mom's sofa. Another nice reward after that early run. A good 20 minute power nap, while my daughter played with her tupperware cooking set on the floor beside me.
I realize I'm generally a happier person if I get up early and get moving immediately. I think my kids appreciate it when mom works out before waking them up. I appreciate everything a little more after a good morning run. Sometimes, I wonder why I don't run more often.
Tonight we took the kids for a froyo treat at Sweet Frog. We saw some of our friends while we were there. When we got home, I realized I had time to make it to ZUMBA at the gym. Matt put the kids to bed and I left for the gym.
After an amazingly fun Zumba class, I am finally home. I'm exhausted and I think we did about 150 squats in class. My thighs hate me tonight... which makes me love them. They put in some tough work today! I'm so grateful for my legs. I hope I never take them for granted. They may not look the way I want them to look, but they are there, they work and they are incredible.
Now, I'm headed for the shower and then to the comfort of my bed, where I will cozy up to my husband and I will give thanks to God for the blessings in my life, for the sunrise, for my running partner, for my spouse and for my working legs.
Today I am thankful.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Did you think I abandoned my journey?
Well, in a way, I DID abandon my journey. Life sidetracked me and I allowed it to do so. Cait had her MRI's and while we found no seizure activity, we did find a tethered spinal cord. September - January we were bombarded with doctor visits and then she had surgery in November, family came for Thanksgiving, then more doctor visits another hospital stay in December, then a follow up in January. And since then, Cait suffered 2 broken bones in one of her legs. She certainly does keep my life interesting. After 4 children, I thought I'd experienced just about everything, but Cait has proven me WRONG! So, in all of this, I kind of lost myself, not to mention I tore my quadriceps tendon the weekend after Thanksgiving. I was not able to resume running until the end of February. This put a HUGE hurting on my success and I lost track of eating properly and I went in a tail spin and gained back a lot of weight. As for disappointment, yes, I'm experiencing that. However, I am a strong woman and I am a determined person. I'm never going to give up on achieving my goals.
Recently, my father became insulin dependent. This scares me to no end. His genes are part of me. His insulin dependency is helping to motivate me to get back on track. I do not want to have to spend my life shooting myself in the stomach with chemicals to keep my body functioning properly. I was born with a healthy body and it is up to me to KEEP it that way.
Now that I am back to running my three miles three days per week, I have injured a shoulder. Thankfully, the doctor that I am seeing did not tell me I cannot workout. Instead he is putting me in physical therapy, so that we can rehab my shoulder and get me back to full workouts. So, currently I am focusing on running, strengthening my legs and strengthening my right side.
Coming up:
Recently, my father became insulin dependent. This scares me to no end. His genes are part of me. His insulin dependency is helping to motivate me to get back on track. I do not want to have to spend my life shooting myself in the stomach with chemicals to keep my body functioning properly. I was born with a healthy body and it is up to me to KEEP it that way.
Now that I am back to running my three miles three days per week, I have injured a shoulder. Thankfully, the doctor that I am seeing did not tell me I cannot workout. Instead he is putting me in physical therapy, so that we can rehab my shoulder and get me back to full workouts. So, currently I am focusing on running, strengthening my legs and strengthening my right side.
Coming up:
- April 27 SuperHero 5K
- May 11 Color Run - Baltimore
- May 11 Glow Run - Richmond
- June 22 Jack & Abby NeoNatal Foundation 5K
- June 22 Congenital Heart Walk
- July 13 Westby Centennial Fun Run
Having a schedule of upcoming races and activities helps me to keep my eye on the prize and keeps me moving and motivated.
I've initiated a Facebook Squat challenge with some of my sorority sisters and low and behold, others have joined in on the challenge! How FUN! Our first 50 squats was today! Cait actually did squats with me while I did mine. My little 3 year old workout buddy is the best!
On the food -- this is the most difficult part for me. I've taken myself off of coffee and gone to green tea, no sugar. I'm attempting to not eat junk, but this weekend was a rough one for me! Lots of cake (birthdays and wedding showers, oh my)... but today is a new day, there is no cake in my house! I've had a spinach feta wrap and green tea, and then a protein bar for snack. Lunch will be veggies & triscuits w/ humus along with 1 egg cup (recipe found on Pinterest, and I subbed egg whites). Afternoon snack will be 1/2 of a banana in a high fiber low carb wrap with a serving of natural peanut butter. Dinner will be chicken and veggies, just not quite sure yet, how I'm cooking them.
I was unable to do a run this morning, so I may do a run this evening. I have completed 50 squats, I'm planning to put in 50 monkey's and then I'll be doing push ups, planks and side plank as well as an inverted plank with a butt raise/pulse. I'll be using the resistance band for bicep curls.
I'm looking for a good tabata workout and a good (FREE) Tabata app for my phone. Suggestions are welcome!
Finishing Will Never Be The Same
My race finishes have forever been changed by the events of 4/15/13 at the Boston Marathon. Whenever I cross a finish line from here on out, I will not be saddened by the works of a coward, rather I'll be empowered by the response of those first on the scene and I will be celebrating the memory of those who lost their lives and honoring the lives of those who lost there limbs and suffered from the acts of the coward.
No finish will ever be in vain. No finish will ever be about me. My finishes will be in gratitude to a God who is with us even in the midst of these horrible atrocities that mankind chooses to bring upon one another for reasons that are beyond my comprehension.
The horrible actions will NOT take away my desire to run races. It will not diminish my trust in human kind. It will not defeat my kind spirit. Now more than ever, I am inspired to love my fellow man more and to be more generous with my kindness. Evil cannot defeat us unless we allow it.
Finish your races with hands held high in memory, in honor and in thankfulness.
No finish will ever be in vain. No finish will ever be about me. My finishes will be in gratitude to a God who is with us even in the midst of these horrible atrocities that mankind chooses to bring upon one another for reasons that are beyond my comprehension.
The horrible actions will NOT take away my desire to run races. It will not diminish my trust in human kind. It will not defeat my kind spirit. Now more than ever, I am inspired to love my fellow man more and to be more generous with my kindness. Evil cannot defeat us unless we allow it.
Finish your races with hands held high in memory, in honor and in thankfulness.
Fitness Test
Today my oldest child had her physical fitness test looming over her head. As we drove to school I asked her about it. She said she was nervous because she could only run between 10-12 laps, while the fastest kid in her class could do 33 laps. She told me that with her short little legs, she just can't go as far as everyone else or as fast.
I told her a little story about her mommy. I asked if she remembered when I ran my first 10K. She did. I said, when I got to mile 5 of that 10K, I wanted to give up. I was running alone, I was hot and I was feeling defeated. I didn't stop running. Instead, I prayed, "God, give me wings to finish this race!" At mile 6, I was talking myself into walking across that finish line. I got to 6.1 and the guy holding the sign said, "You are ALMOST there!" I was near tears. I was ready to give up and just walk that last .1 -- but then I heard, "MOMMA!" I said to my daughter today, "Maegan, that was YOU calling out for me! YOU are the wings that God sent me that day and pushed me to go all the way to that finish line running!" If you don't know the whole story, when I heard her calling for me, I motioned for her to come join me on the course... she and her brother & sister came out and held my hands and ran with me to the finish line. It was one of the best moments of my entire life. I reminded her that with God, we can do ANYTHING we put our mind to, and He will see us through whatever it is.
I also told her one of my running tricks, when I think I can't go any farther. I said, "When you feel like you are ready to give up, don't give up, instead, make a little visual goal, find a spot on the course and say, I'll run to there. Once you get there, pick another spot and run to it and just keep doing this until your time is up." I told her she would be surprised at just how far she can go by accomplishing little goals and meeting them.
She told me her goal today is 15 laps. She also told me that she didn't want to be in the lowest level, so when she ran 12 she was happy to be in the 2nd level. I told her that I thought 15 was a great goal, it's 3 more laps than she has done previously and that with focus it is attainable, and to be happy when she hits that goal.
Bless her heart, she was still worried and said, "Mom, what if I don't make my goal?" My answer to that was simple. "You don't give yourself the option of not making your goal. You BELIEVE you can make that goal, and you don't doubt yourself. You set the goal of 15, you'll achieve the goal of 15. And no matter what, as long as you do your very best, you have nothing to be upset about."
As she got out of the car, I asked her if she was ready. She said yes and I said, "You can do this! I love you!!!"
I'm praying that she has the best run of her life today. I'm hoping she will one day learn to love running, not for exercise, but for the release of tension it provides, for the outlet it is, for the power it brings, for the confidence it builds. I'm so proud of her for talking to me about her fears. I was very fearful of the physical fitness test as a child. I was the fattest child in my class. My legs rubbed together when I ran and it HURT. I would be chaffed and have a difficult time walking once it was over. My poor thighs would just be burned raw. I was embarrassed. No, I was mortified. My friends would receive their presidential awards, and I would cry silent tears because I was too fat and out of shape to ever be good at anything. Her fears are different from my fears a little bit, but they are still very real fears. Her talking about them with me gives me a chance to lift her up, to build her confidence, to let her know I'm proud of her and that no award is going to make me love her more. Just knowing she did her best and is proud of herself is all that I ask and all that I need.
ROCK THAT TEST, MAEGIE!!! I adore you and KNOW that you can do whatever you put that amazing mind to! Never Give Up!!! GOD'S GOT YOU! GO BABY GO!!! Oh how I WISH I could be at that track today with a poster cheering on my baby girl! My heart is with her.
I told her a little story about her mommy. I asked if she remembered when I ran my first 10K. She did. I said, when I got to mile 5 of that 10K, I wanted to give up. I was running alone, I was hot and I was feeling defeated. I didn't stop running. Instead, I prayed, "God, give me wings to finish this race!" At mile 6, I was talking myself into walking across that finish line. I got to 6.1 and the guy holding the sign said, "You are ALMOST there!" I was near tears. I was ready to give up and just walk that last .1 -- but then I heard, "MOMMA!" I said to my daughter today, "Maegan, that was YOU calling out for me! YOU are the wings that God sent me that day and pushed me to go all the way to that finish line running!" If you don't know the whole story, when I heard her calling for me, I motioned for her to come join me on the course... she and her brother & sister came out and held my hands and ran with me to the finish line. It was one of the best moments of my entire life. I reminded her that with God, we can do ANYTHING we put our mind to, and He will see us through whatever it is.
I also told her one of my running tricks, when I think I can't go any farther. I said, "When you feel like you are ready to give up, don't give up, instead, make a little visual goal, find a spot on the course and say, I'll run to there. Once you get there, pick another spot and run to it and just keep doing this until your time is up." I told her she would be surprised at just how far she can go by accomplishing little goals and meeting them.
She told me her goal today is 15 laps. She also told me that she didn't want to be in the lowest level, so when she ran 12 she was happy to be in the 2nd level. I told her that I thought 15 was a great goal, it's 3 more laps than she has done previously and that with focus it is attainable, and to be happy when she hits that goal.
Bless her heart, she was still worried and said, "Mom, what if I don't make my goal?" My answer to that was simple. "You don't give yourself the option of not making your goal. You BELIEVE you can make that goal, and you don't doubt yourself. You set the goal of 15, you'll achieve the goal of 15. And no matter what, as long as you do your very best, you have nothing to be upset about."
As she got out of the car, I asked her if she was ready. She said yes and I said, "You can do this! I love you!!!"
I'm praying that she has the best run of her life today. I'm hoping she will one day learn to love running, not for exercise, but for the release of tension it provides, for the outlet it is, for the power it brings, for the confidence it builds. I'm so proud of her for talking to me about her fears. I was very fearful of the physical fitness test as a child. I was the fattest child in my class. My legs rubbed together when I ran and it HURT. I would be chaffed and have a difficult time walking once it was over. My poor thighs would just be burned raw. I was embarrassed. No, I was mortified. My friends would receive their presidential awards, and I would cry silent tears because I was too fat and out of shape to ever be good at anything. Her fears are different from my fears a little bit, but they are still very real fears. Her talking about them with me gives me a chance to lift her up, to build her confidence, to let her know I'm proud of her and that no award is going to make me love her more. Just knowing she did her best and is proud of herself is all that I ask and all that I need.
ROCK THAT TEST, MAEGIE!!! I adore you and KNOW that you can do whatever you put that amazing mind to! Never Give Up!!! GOD'S GOT YOU! GO BABY GO!!! Oh how I WISH I could be at that track today with a poster cheering on my baby girl! My heart is with her.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Personal Note
Being supportive and positive is NOT comparing yourself to me and my accomplishments. It does the reverse, actually. Don't tell me I am doing so much better than you are -- this is MY journey. I invited you along to support me, not to make you feel badly for not working out or eating improperly. (by the way, I need this talk as much as some of my "supporters" because I'm very guilty of comparing myself to others) What happens when you make comments like that, is that I start feeling bad about my success as if my success is holding someone else back. I let my feeling bad about someone else's feelings and then I start self sabotaging because I don't want others to be upset with me. I'd rather be disappointed in myself than to cause someone else pain or sadness. This is a fault with in me. My journey is separate from anyone else's journey. I do want your support and positivity 100% -- but I just want you to know it hurts when you make comments that are comparative in nature and you put yourself down in comparison to my accomplishments. You are awesome in your own right and you don't need my journey to define you! I want to support you in your effort, TOO! Let's build each other up, not tear each other down. If you have a bad week, you have a bad week. You can get back on track, just like I can! We can do anything we put our minds to, we just have to be willing! So, please, remember that even if you don't mean for words to hurt, sometimes they can. Stop and think before you say something, "Would these words hurt me if someone said them to me?"
Have a wonderful Sunday and make this week your best week yet!!!
Things I am facing this week:
Caity has a wellness check up on Monday and 2 MRI's under anesthesia on Wednesday
My brother was diagnosed with stage 1 Melanoma and is facing surgery on Thursday
Matt is in a conference Monday - Wednesday
Scentsy Parties on Friday night and Sunday
All of these items will play a roll in how my week goes. I will be making a meal plan today and shopping tonight to pull off this week! (Lots of make ahead and crock pot meals!) I've shopped for the kids lunches for the week, now just need to make sure we have dinner meals.
On Tap:
Chicken and veggie soup (grilled cheese for kids)
turkey chili with black beans & kidney beans
Spaghetti
Breakfast for dinner (this is on Matt's night to cook)
Sushi (for work night, easy and transportable)
Leftovers!
Have a wonderful Sunday and make this week your best week yet!!!
Things I am facing this week:
Caity has a wellness check up on Monday and 2 MRI's under anesthesia on Wednesday
My brother was diagnosed with stage 1 Melanoma and is facing surgery on Thursday
Matt is in a conference Monday - Wednesday
Scentsy Parties on Friday night and Sunday
All of these items will play a roll in how my week goes. I will be making a meal plan today and shopping tonight to pull off this week! (Lots of make ahead and crock pot meals!) I've shopped for the kids lunches for the week, now just need to make sure we have dinner meals.
On Tap:
Chicken and veggie soup (grilled cheese for kids)
turkey chili with black beans & kidney beans
Spaghetti
Breakfast for dinner (this is on Matt's night to cook)
Sushi (for work night, easy and transportable)
Leftovers!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Back in the Saddle Again
After a VERY disheartening weigh in this morning... I have had to recommit myself to my goals! I'm going back and reading my blog from the beginning to find out where I lost sight of my goals and where I started! One thing I know is I do NOT want diabetes and I'm headed like a freight train right for that diagnosis if I do not regain control of myself. M&M's, the fall ones, came out and I couldn't resist! WHAT??? Hello, that is SO not me anymore. Well, I've learned a valuable lesson. M&M's cannot live in my house, unless they are the plain M&M's and then I could not care less about them! BUT any other M&M's must be enjoyed outside of my home. Candy Corn, ewww, who eats that stuff? Me. HUH? Candy Corn? Was I desperate? OK, enough of beating myself up.
Bad weigh in = looking back, not pointing fingers -- I know who made the weight come on, there is no need to beat myself up for poor decision making, instead it's time to REFOCUS! (Hey Sarah, heehee, I gotta FOCUS!) So, what are my reasons for being on this journey?
Bad weigh in = looking back, not pointing fingers -- I know who made the weight come on, there is no need to beat myself up for poor decision making, instead it's time to REFOCUS! (Hey Sarah, heehee, I gotta FOCUS!) So, what are my reasons for being on this journey?
- To get healthy!
- To be under 200 lbs.!
- To not be the FAT mom!
- To give my kids a role model!
- To use the gifts God has given me and praise HIM with them!
- To better enjoy life!
That's enough of that for now. So, now that I have these goals written out... how am I going to achieve these goals? Well, first and foremost, I MUST gain control over the food I eat. I love sweets. Now, let me stop and think about sweets -- do I need sweets every day? Nope. Do I want them every day? Yep. Are there ways around having sweets every day and not feeling deprived? Oh Yes!
- Alternatives to sweets that taste sweet, but don't add the calories and inflammatory effects of sugar. (Coffee: Pumpkin Spice, Cinnamon Roll -- they taste sweet but have no sugar in them! Applesauce: Organic Unsweetened just add cinnamon! Tea: Spicy Teas! Sweet Potatoes baked in the oven, add cinnamon if necessary!)
- Make the sweet WORTH IT when I have to have one. Don't settle for candy corn -- 20 pieces is 150 calories!!! If I am going to eat 150 calories of a sweet, it needs to be WORTH it, like a portion of a brownie or cookie, a few bites of creme brule, Kalico Kitchen cake (a small slice or share a slice with someone) -- make the dessert or sweet something that you can't have every day and that you know is worth every bite.
- When a sweet craving comes on, try taking a nap or a walk, drink extra water, chat with a friend, distract yourself from the craving!!!
- Do not bring sweets into the house, no matter how tempting the packaging. You know you can't resist certain sweets, so why torture yourself either by eating them or by depriving yourself when you know they are there!? Just leave them at the store.
Savory foods are a weakness as well... OK so I LIKE FOOD -- plain and simple. What I need to do is stop pinning recipes off of pinterest and start MAKING the ones I've already pinned. Find new foods that are HEALTHY and satisfy my savory cravings. Leave behind the chex mix and the cheese itz! I need to read back through the foods I used to eat and start eating them again.
As for working out... I've got that! :) I run 2-4 days per week, I do body back 2 days per week, I Zumba at least once per week and now I'm adding in TRX and line dancing (hip hop, not country). The exercising is not my problem... so we know the food needs to be the focus.
What's the MAIN change I need to make: WRITING EVERYTHING IN MY JOURNAL!!! I know that journalling works! So, I must retrain myself to write down everything I eat. I used to make it a game. I need to get back to that. It works. Just do it!
I know I can do this! But there is one more element I need! I need you guys to recommit to me as well. Hold me accountable. If I haven't blogged, ask me where my blog is, ask me what new foods I've tried... just keep me going by supporting me! I am a social creature by nature and positive social interaction really helps! Thanks for sticking with me on my journey! I CAN DO THIS! And right now I'm looking at it 5 lbs. at a time!
Each 5 lbs I lose, I'm going to reward myself-
- pedicure
- hair cut
- hair color
- concert, sporting event or movie with my husband
- new shoes (NICE ONES)
- a Leather Grace Adele handbag (if you haven't seen them, ask me about them!!!)
I'll set new rewards as I knock off rewards (and ultimately knock off the pounds).
Thanks for sticking with me on my journey. It truly has to become the life you live. There is no diet, there is no exercising to a goal and then going back to sedentary life. It's living healthy to live a good and productive life! I'm committed! I want to be the best me that I can possibly be! (Sorry for any spelling and grammatical errors, I'm not trying to win awards with my blog!)
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Planktastic,topia,apoloza,stock --- er PLANK CHALLENGE CLASS
This morning was a Plank challenge workout... Cardio, plank, Cardio, plank, Cardio, plank... you get the idea, right? We did all kinds of planks: up downs, plank jacks, side planks with a twist, planks with a leg lift, planks with a hamstring curl... Then Kathy says to us to look at our inspiration boards and draw inspiration and motivation, because we would be pulling ourself in plank position the length of the gym.
Seriously, this was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It wasn't pretty and it took me a while, but I did it! Just looking at my board with: my family, my race bibs and my picture from November 2010 made me extremely emotional. I've come so far, but with so much left to go. Yesterday I was feeling very fat and ugly and was very hard on myself. Today I feel much better about myself. I know I have a long way to go, but celebrating my successes are what it is all about. The journey never ends, being healthy is a life long aspiration that takes full commitment, much like marriage and parenting. You don't give up because it gets hard or frustrating -- you use that frustration and turn it into motivation to move mountains. I CAN, I WILL! While it seems I am "stuck" right now with my weight, I have other successes to celebrate... those successes deserve recognition. They are not less significant just because they aren't weight loss, they are important in their own right. I have to remind myself that the number on the scale, while important, does not define me. My journey isn't just about losing weight, but about changing my attitude towards working out, eating properly, being healthy and loving myself. It's about counting my blessings and being grateful for the things I CAN DO. It's about challenging myself to do more than I ever thought possible, to be strong, to be a role model for my children, especially my three girls. I'm so very grateful to be on this journey!
Seriously, this was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It wasn't pretty and it took me a while, but I did it! Just looking at my board with: my family, my race bibs and my picture from November 2010 made me extremely emotional. I've come so far, but with so much left to go. Yesterday I was feeling very fat and ugly and was very hard on myself. Today I feel much better about myself. I know I have a long way to go, but celebrating my successes are what it is all about. The journey never ends, being healthy is a life long aspiration that takes full commitment, much like marriage and parenting. You don't give up because it gets hard or frustrating -- you use that frustration and turn it into motivation to move mountains. I CAN, I WILL! While it seems I am "stuck" right now with my weight, I have other successes to celebrate... those successes deserve recognition. They are not less significant just because they aren't weight loss, they are important in their own right. I have to remind myself that the number on the scale, while important, does not define me. My journey isn't just about losing weight, but about changing my attitude towards working out, eating properly, being healthy and loving myself. It's about counting my blessings and being grateful for the things I CAN DO. It's about challenging myself to do more than I ever thought possible, to be strong, to be a role model for my children, especially my three girls. I'm so very grateful to be on this journey!
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