Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Bit of Perspective

Just wanted to give a bit of perspective from a fat person point of view -- for those who have never been fat or out of shape.

I should have made this post a VERY long time ago, because it is always on my mind. I always seem to forget to post about it or I just push it to the back of my mind. So here ya go:

A fit thin person, who has always been fit and thin does not understand what a fat or heavy out of shape person feels, thinks and goes through when making their changes. This is NOT a bad thing, it is just that they don't know the perspective from where we are coming. So, I'm going to attempt to relate what it is like -- Let's take a 1/2 mile run. To a thin fit person, they may see that 1/2 mile run as no challenge at all, just something they have to do. (I don't really know, because I've never been a thin fit person) -- but to a fat/heavy (or even a thin) out of shape individual that little 1/2 mile run is a challenge. It is like climbing a mountain. It is something we absolutely do not think we can do, physically. I remember my first 1/2 mile assessment in March. I wanted to cry when I found out we had to run a 1/2 mile and it would be timed. I could only see it as a mountain, an impossible mountain. I ran only part of it, panting the whole way. I was ashamed of myself for finishing last, but happy to finish. Here I am several months later -- the 1/2 mile does not seem nearly as scary. I still finish last, but I improve with each run. Each class we face more challenges. I still think there are things that I mentally cannot wrap my head around how I will physically attempt that challenge. I'm still fat. I still have a lot of weight to haul. It is NOT easy. Is that an excuse for me to give up and not try? NO WAY! It may make me cry because I push myself to the brink or it may make me angry because I can't do it with finesse. It may not be pretty, but I try.

I say all this just to give you a glimpse of how things look from my side. This is not to offer up any excuses, because I no longer believe that being fat is a limitation. Being fat is an invitation to change your life. I've been fat since elementary school. I've had people make fun of me both behind my back and to my face. I've been humiliated because of my weight. My favorite "compliment" -- "You have such a pretty face." They may as well just add the unspoken half of their backhanded compliment that just hangs in the air "if only you weren't so fat!"

This blog is not just to celebrate my successes, which I have to admit, I LOVE doing! This blog is to bring awareness that you can make a change in your life and that being fat doesn't have to define who you are or limit you. Use your "FAT" as your fuel for your change. Get mad, cry, feel the feelings you need to feel, and then make the changes in your life to be a healthier you! Make a challenge to yourself to do something you've never done or never thought you could do. Work towards that goal. Show yourself that you can do anything you put your mind to, even if you are carrying extra weight. It feels like you "can't" do it, but if you work at it enough you CAN do it! That mountain seems impossible and to others that mountain seems like a mole hill. But is it OUR mountain to power over and even if no one else gets it, no one else understands how something so simple could be so tough for us -- just push their thoughts aside and focus on climbing that mountain and making that change, accomplishing that goal for no other reason than to PROVE to yourself that YOU can do it!

For me, I know I can't do it alone and I pull my strength from my Heavenly Father. There are days I don't want to get out of bed, I know that HE is who wakes me and encourages me to face my mountains. He is the one, when I feel like giving up, that sends me that extra burst of energy to get the task done. I can do ALL things through HIM who gives me strength! I hope I never forget it or lose sight of who gives me my strength. I have this body on loan... and I need to take excellent care of it. I have not, in the past, taken care of my body. I had to change my outlook to get where I am today. I had to rethink the purpose of my body. I'm so blessed to have moving working parts of my body, some don't have what I do, and I need to be thankful and use those for His Glory! My mountains that I face will always be there, there is always going to be another challenge that may seem impossible, but I know I can do it, it may take time. It make take repeated efforts, but I can do it! He is in me and He gets me through any challenge, physical or otherwise. THANK YOU, GOD, for being faithful and for giving me the body that you did. Forgive me for not taking care of it in the past. Help me to strive to be the best I can be FOR YOU! Thank you for placing challenges in my way, so that I have no choice but to lean on Your strength.

Face your challenges today and every day, head on and KNOW that you can and will prevail. Never give up!

Oh, and I'm now officially at 243.5 lbs.!!!

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