Thursday, March 31, 2011
I definitely did not fall asleep during this class. I was sweating like a pig. My heart was beating out of my chest. I tried everything, though wasn't successful at everything. I'm feeling it tonight. So very sore... but worth it! If I thought my arms were hurting before today, well, that was nothing!
It's fantastic discovering new facets of my body... my collar bones are now showing, my shoulders are rounding out, my biceps are tightening up. Over all the body is changing. It's nice zipping up my coat and it fits perfectly comfortably over my hips. The soreness is quite worth it!
So, here was my food intake for today!
sausage, cheese, eng muffin
six pieces of honey nut chex
mini luna bar
Shrimp n veggie fajita
1 piece of dark choc.
1 cup of Multigrain Cheerios
crab cake and salad -- balsamic vinaigrette (barely any, as it was on the side and I just dipped my fork in it before picking up my salad bites)
All of my water (64+ oz)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Yep, that's right! I'm on the blog again! A big change is coming to my life. An exciting opportunity has dropped into my lap! A challenge has been issued and I am taking it head on. Full Speed Ahead!
I am making a commitment, right here, right now! I will blog everyday of my journey. Why will I blog, because, I want to SEE where I started and how I do along the way. Some days will be hard, some days I will be exhausted and may want to give up. My blog will be my outlet.
My friends and family are needed for support. I have my own ability to sabotage my efforts, I do not need help from outside forces, so hear me right now... if you don't want to see me succeed at this, then stop reading my blog RIGHT NOW -- I have my own evils that keep me from achieving my dreams and I definitely do not want any naysayers on my journey with me. So move along, there is nothing to see here!
This blog is for me to work out what I am going through each day. Words of encouragement along my journey are much appreciated. Stories that could be motivational, MORE than appreciated! PRAYERS are coveted!
My absolutely gorgeous, beyond amazing, hunky, delicious, fantastic, precious, inspiring Mr. Perfect made a statement that I need to be reminded of throughout this journey. I was telling him how nervous I am, and how I fail so miserably so easily all the time... and he said, "Give it to God, let GOD succeed -- it isn't all about you, but about what God can do in and through you." WOW!!! Who is that man I married?!?! To think, when we met, he wasn't even a Christian, didn't really know much about the church or the body of Christ -- and now HE is reminding me that GOD has the power to perform miracles and the power to help me achieve my goals. His words were and are extremely encouraging. I know he will be praying for me everyday on my journey. I am eternally grateful for a husband who is filled with the Holy Spirit and isn't afraid to use the power that God has bestowed in all of us! Thank you, GOD, for Mr. Perfect in my life. I am so glad you hand picked him for me!
OK, so today is Day 1... even though the actual hard part of the journey doesn't start until Feb. 28. Day 1 = getting mentally prepared for the journey ahead. Getting my head in the game. Getting my heart in the game. Talking myself OUT of self sabotage. Moving myself forward into a new phase.
A quick review of the past 10.5 years:
July 1, 2000 Married Mr. Perfect
May 1, 2001 Last BCP ever
July 1, 2001 Discovered we were preggo!
August, 2001 DNC to remove fetal tissue from miscarriage
October 2001, 2nd DNC for removal of fetal tissue that apparently was not all removed during 1st DNC
October 2002 Round 1 of Clomid
November 2002 Round 2 of Clomid
December 8, 2002 Discovered we were preggo!
August 15, 2003 Induction
August 16, 2003
August 17, 2003 Induction day 3, 10:42 p.m. Baby Girl #1 born by c/section
January 31, 2004 Discovered we were preggo!
February 14, 2004 Miscarriage on Valentine's Day
January 2005 Discovered we were preggo!
March 2005, Discovered baby had no heartbeat
June 2005, Discovered we were preggo!<
June 2005, lost the baby just as soon as we discovered<
July 2005, began water aerobics
September 2005, began working out in earnest and doing Weight Watchers
October 2005, 30th birthday! Told Mr. Perfect I was happy with my life and meant it.<
November 2005 had lost 29 lbs.
November 2005, Thanksgiving Day, discovered at the gym that I was PREGGO!<
July 14, 2006 Baby Boy born by c/section
April 2007 Discovered I was preggo!
December 13, 2007 Baby Girl #2 was born!
February 2009 Car was rearended, discovered I was preggo!
March 2009 Walked in the 10K, started spotting
April 10, 2009 discovered baby had no heartbeat, decided to allow my body to naturally cleanse
May 2009 experienced the worst miscarriage of all of my losses, 3 hour pain intensive labor
May 2009 begged Mr. Perfect to NEVER get me pregnant again
July 6, 2009 discovered I was preggo!
September 2009 could not find the baby's heartbeat, emergency ultrasound, baby was FINE!
November 2009 high level ultrasound to view baby's heart -- everything was fine
March 9, 2010 Baby Girl #3 born a week earlier than scheduled, healthy and amazing!
May 10, 2010 Baby girl #3 to ER for croup in the middle of the night
May 12, 2010 Baby girl #3 referred to a cardiologist for possible VSD (congenital heart defect)
May 19, 2010 Baby girl #3 cardiologist confirmed 2 heart defects (VSD/PDA)
May 19, 2010 Decided to start a chapter in Virginia of The Children's Heart Foundation
June 17, 2010 CHFVA held its first meeting
September 2010 second meeting w/ cardiologist, seems defects are trying to self correct
October 18, 2010 CHFVA held its first Golf Tournament in memory of Allison Jacobs<
February 18, 2010 Offered a life changing experience and accepted it<
February 20, 2010 Started blogging again...
As you can see, a lot of my past 10 years has revolved around pregnancy and losses and some scary moments with child #4. Being a mom is the most rewarding and wonderful job in the world, and the job I wanted most in the world. I wouldn't have gone through 5 losses if I didn't seriously want to be a mother. However, in becoming a mother, I've lost sight of ME... and that is not good for any of us in my family. I have forgotten to take care of myself. And in not taking care of me, others in my family have suffered. It is time to get ME back. It is time to take care of ME so I can better take care of these little people I helped bring into this world. It is time to take care of ME so I can be the wife Mr. Perfect deserves! It is time to take care of ME so I feel better about myself, so I like myself again and so I can relieve some self inflicted pressure off my life.
Since having child #2 I've neglected several areas in my life. It is easy to make excuses for why I have ignored these areas, but truth be told, I long to focus on these areas again. Yes, the excuses will still be there, and I'm sure I will try and pull them out ... but I have to remember that first and foremost I am doing this journey for MYSELF so that I can be a better wife, mother, friend and leader. With Mr. Perfect and Four children -- there are NO excuses that are acceptable for ignoring what I need to do in my life... do I want to continue to be here and be mother to my children and wife to my husband? If so, then I need to start this journey and stick with it! We are never guaranteed tomorrow, but with the way I have been living, I've been pushing the limits of tomorrow for a long time, giving up a chance at tomorrow for stupid excuses. No more excuses will hold me back. It's time for me to get my . . .
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
So the revamped plan is:
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I walked into the house and Gammy was making chocolate dipped strawberries. She had blueberries and strawberries laid out on paper towels on the counter. I looked at her and said, "it is snack time mom, I have to eat NOW. Can I have some fruit?" She let me have at it and I made a delicious fruit salad w/ her fresh berries and a banana. She was making goodies to take to a neighborhood dinner. She said, I'll leave a chocolate dipped strawberry for you. I said, "No thanks!" (GO me!)
While there, we watched Selection Sunday. My throat is KILLING ME now, because I screamed like a banshee when my VCU RAMS were selected for a seed in the Big Dance. We jumped around and screamed and high fived, and made Caity cry. (Whoopsy) Too bad their game is in Illinois and not in DC or Charlotte! Bummer!
I challenged my sister and Matt to some sit ups. My sis was able to do one, and Matt was able to do many, but they put strain on his lower back, so he had to stop (he has a bad lower back, and thankfully has only had to have a shot to help it, where many have to have surgery). I did ten before I dropped. We also planked and tried some push ups, but my shoulders are still fussin from Thursday, so my attempts were futile! I also attempted a side plank. I've got to work on my balance!
I am looking into getting a new jogging stroller, just a single this time... that umbrella stroller was NOT my friend on the walk, and I feel as though it limited my speed. Craigslist here I come!
Now I am closing up the computer and heading to Martins for a quick grocery trip. Gotta get my essentials for the week! I'm fresh out of eggs, bread and produce!
Food Journal today is not so great. I just didn't eat much. Wasn't really hungry and stayed relatively busy all day.
Veggie Sausage Patty
Cocoa Roasted Almonds
sauted mushrooms onions spinach and garlic
whole wheat tortilla
a sip of "clear soup" (From Tokyo Sushi)
3 pieces of a Spicy Crunchy Shrimp Roll
I drank all of my water today plus some!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
This morning when I got up, I decided that since my leg was still having issues, I'd work on something that didn't involve my leg. I decided to try something that since day 1 of Body Back, I've not been able to do... not even 1 little one... I decided I would try doing a full sit up. I tried what Rachel said this past week... Starting from a seated position, go down, then back up -- Hold the bus! I did one! I was so shocked I tried again -- I did TWO! in fact, I did six in a row. WHAT?!? Are you kidding me? I took a rest at that point as the abs were talking back. But then I went back to it, and I did six more! They weren't pretty, but I'll take 'em!!! I was and am extremely proud of that accomplishment. It may not seem like much to some, but to ME, it was HUGE! I also worked on planks -- still having trouble with those... but it will come. I was doing full planks on my hands, not on the elbows. I am determined to be able to hold a full plank for at least 1 minute in the next two weeks. It's just something I want to accomplish!
Another little thing that I did today, not something I would have EVER thought about doing before, was racing my son from the porch to the car. LOL He was giggling the whole time. When we returned home, he didn't wait for me to race him... I was kind of disappointed, if I tell the truth.
Now, like I said, I went to a wedding. Usually, you know well in advance of going to a wedding. I knew only as of last night that I'd be going. I was a little nervous about attending the reception. I didn't know if I was ready to face wedding food. I wasn't sure I would be able to pass up the "goodies" -- However, I feel that I did quite well! I filled my plate with shrimp and cocktail sauce, crackers and cheese, spanikopita, a mini quiche, and peanuts. I gave my mom the mini quiche, and I threw the crackers away eating only 1/2 of one of them. I passed up my favorite mints.. those little cream cheese mints. I eyed them a few times, and even started to get one when I was fixing my plate. But then, I stopped and I thought... you know I REALLY want to taste the cake, and if I eat the mint, I will feel guilty! So, I decided, it wasn't worth the guilt. And about that cake. Mom and I decided we would share a piece. When we got to the table, the cake was nearly gone, so we just asked for 1/2 of a slice and we each took two bites of cake. It was all that we needed. Neither of us left feeling stuffed nor were we hungry, just satisfied.
So, here is what I ate today:
Breakfast burrito: 2 egg whites, mushrooms, onions, red peppers, chili powder and garlic, raw baby spinach, salsa and a whole wheat tortilla
1/2 a serving of yogurt raisins
fruit salad (banana, strawberries, blueberries)
carrots and a 2 teaspoons of hummus
Wedding Food (aka Lunch):
12 steamed shrimp (w/ cocktail sauce)
1 spanikopita triangle
15 cocktail peanuts
6 small cubes of cheese (pepper jack, colby jack, cheddar)
1/2 of a cracker
2 bites of cake
a teaspoon of plain greek yogurt (used as sour cream)
4 power berries (covered in dark chocolate)
Friday, March 11, 2011
Gave my leg a little rest today. Still having some pressure issues with certain ways I step or get up from a seated position. Showed my kids and sister the backwards crab walk move. To which my kids promptly took it upon themselves to show me how "easy" it is. I did not have the heart to tell them that I have a whole lot more weight to bear than they do! Instead, I praised their efforts.
When Wils saw my breakfast this morning, he said, "hey, I want that." referring to my fruit salad. I promised to make him one for lunch. Then at dinner, I decided they should try tilapia. I did not bother telling them what was on their plate. Low and behold they all ate it. Maegan said," I ate all of my chicken! It was great!" I kept my secret and smiled. I am blessed to have good eaters... They don't often complain about the food on their plates.
After dinner, the kids took to showing us their athletic abilities. Maegan wowed us with bridges, handstands and yoga poses. Mia tumbled. Wils flexed his muscles and worked on bridges and crab walks. Maegan showed us perfect form planks and push ups. She makes me proud. I asked if she and Wils could do sit-ups, neither could... I don't feel so bad! Of course Wils does all of this with no shirt on. We can count every rib and vertebrae... If I hadn't carried him for nine months and he didn't look like my father, I would seriously wonder if he was mine!
Ok here is my food journal:
MSF sausage patty
Fruit salad (blueberries, sliced banana and strawberries)
Dark chocolate covered power berries
Carrots and white bean hummus
Turkey wrap with spinach and sun dried tomato basil hummus on whole wheat tortilla
Cocoa roasted almonds
Tilapia on a bed of spinach and mushrooms
Baked sweet potato
Salad with feta and vinaigrette
Thursday, March 10, 2011
High fiber English muffin
Walnuts and almonds
6 power berries
Spring roll (fresh rice paper roll)
1/2 California roll
Shrimp fajitas with mushrooms, onions, red pepper, raw baby spinach, Shrimp, whole wheat tortillas, garlic and fresh salsa
There is not a part of my body that doesn't hurt, other than my face. I'm not complaining. As Kim put it this morning, the hurting just means I'm getting stronger! WOOHOO! My arms were literally shaking this morning, and my thighs were begging for mercy! BUT, the strangest thing, my lower abs AGAIN were burning as though we worked them the whole class... I think that means I am doing something right.
I have to give mad props to the gorgeous man in my life! My precious husband stayed up ALL NIGHT with a sick little cranky Mia... because he knew I needed to make it to my class this morning. I OWE that man so much! I can't thank him enough for supporting me so fully on this journey! He even popped into the room at 4:45 this morning and whispered, "Honey? It's quarter to 5, I just didn't want you to oversleep." -- my alarm went off about 2 minutes later... but that he thought about me and was encouraging me after not sleeping all night meant the world to me. I love that Man!
Another interesting thing came about during class this morning. I happened to wear my Congenital Heart Walk t-shirt that I earned last year at the Congenital Heart Walk of Greater DC. One of my classmates asked me about it. I love an opportunity to share about Congenital Heart Defects and the Children's Heart Foundation!!! It turns out, she's being seen tomorrow for possible congenital heart defects -- ADULT DETECTION -- missed all of her childhood! (This should NEVER happen!) So much work is left to be done!!!
When I got home this morning, Maegan asked about my shirt and asked if we will be doing the Congenital Heart Walk again this year... and my reply is YES, two times, in fact! May 22 we will walk at American University in DC and then November 19 we will walk at Richmond International Raceway in Richmond! I would LOVE to have people join my team and help me raise awareness and raise money to help fund research for the #1 birth defect! JUST ASK ME HOW!!! (I'm actually helping to plan the Richmond walk and looking for committee members, so if you want to be involved on that level... let me know!) My goal is $1000 for the May 22 walk, so far I've raised $25... If you want to donate, go here! It would mean so much to me to have your support! The walk is 1.2 miles and is family friendly. It is such a great time and we meet such amazingly beautiful people who have been touch by Congenital Heart Disease.
Today is an exciting day for little Cait... she has her Cardiologist appointment with Dr. McQuilken. We are hoping to see that her issues have resolved on their own. This would be such great news! I think if her PDA is still open, then she will have to come back again in a year... but not sure on that. If it is still open, I may get a second opinion to make sure there is nothing we need to do. With her VSD, there really is nothing to do, as long as it does not get bigger! I'm excited to look at her sweet heart on ECHO today. I love to see God's creation at work... that beating heart is AMAZING!!!
I am so NOT wanting to eat breakfast this morning. That workout killed my appetite. I had half a banana before class... I know I need more to eat. Maybe I'll be hungry after I take Wils to school.
I'll update with a food journal before bedtime!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Matt picked up Wils and Mia and took them out for lunch, since I was busy with Cait. Once they returned, I knew Mia was not well. It took about an hour before she finally got it out... and she won't puke in a potty -- so I got to hold a bucket. FUN!
Meanwhile, I was feeling frumpy and dumpy today. I went online and posted to my Body Back ladies, who encouraged me to either get outside or exercise. While the kids were out with Matt, I did a short little stint on the Wii Fit (even though I REALLY wanted a sonic Cherry Limeade and pint of Ben & Jerry's) -- then I folded clothes. I felt a little better.
After Mia's episode, she was screaming, Cait was fussy, and I was near the end of my rope. Poor Wils was being so sweet and trying to talk to me and I was just getting so frustrated. I looked at him and apologized to him for me being so grumpy. He's such a good kid. Maegan was at school and then at the church Wednesday afterschool program... so she missed all the excitement, which is a GOOD thing. I called Matt at 5 and said, I NEED YOU to come home. He got here after 6 (normal)... by then Cait and Mia had both fallen asleep. Mia woke up when he got here and I said, SEE YA! I had to go pick up Maegan, but first I had to get to the grocery store -- the kids are out of waffles and well, that is just not a good thing in this house! I went for veggies, fruit and waffles, but ended up with a ton of seafood in addition -- I'm addicted. I ended up buying 3 bags of spinach because I'm finding I eat it for almost every meal! Cooked in eggs for breakfast, cooked w/ garlic for dinner and shoved in the middle of my sandwich for lunch -- it adds LOADS of crunch! YUM! After groceries, I finally got to Chick Fil A -- and I made excellent choices... when I could have easily given in to temptation and gotten a milkshake! (insert happy dance here... I resisted temptation on a very emotional and stressful day!)
So, here is my food journal for today:
Breakfast (was VERY hungry this morning when I woke up)
2 egg whites
red bell pepper
english muffin (high fiber/multigrain)
MSF veggie sausage
walnuts & almonds
flatbread spread w/ sundried tomato basil hummus, turkey, swiss and spinach
8 powerberries covered in dark chocolate
ChickfilA Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich (no pickles)
side salad, croutons (1/2 the package), ff honey mustard (1/2 the package)
8 glasses of water (plus more)
Now SLEEP, because 4:45 comes EARLY!!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
High Fiber English Muffin
MSF Veggie Sausage
White Bean Hummus and Carrots
8 Dark Chocolate covered Powerberries (Trader Joes)
Whole Wheat Flatbread, sundried tomato and basil hummus, turkey and spinach (as a sandwich)
triscuits and veggie yogurt cheese
Baked/Broiled Balsamic marinated Salmon
over ramen noodles, wilted spinach and garlic
broccoli sprinkled with parmesan
Over 8 glasses of water.
I am for SURE feeling it today! Of course, I screwed myself a bit by doing BB video last night, and then having class this morning... the shoulders and hammies and glutes are feeling it. My knees are a little achey (that's new, and I'm not liking it, because I think it means I'm getting older) -- However, I feel fantastic! My mood is so happy and joyful. My mornings are brighter when I get up and workout early. It helps that the beautiful sunshine is out this morning!
Down 2 lbs this week (probably a tad bit more though, because I had on some extra clothes this week) -- I'm taking my two pounds and smiling about it, because even with only 2 lbs off, I have pants that are already not fitting, so that means things are changing!!! Love it!
I got to show myself and everyone that I can in fact do JUMPING JACKS! Granted, I didn't do as many as I would have liked, I DID them! :D Go Me!
Today was filled with squats and push ups, planks, slogging (slooooooooooow jogging), lunges, etc. Nothing that I loathed, that's for sure... but nothing that I excelled at (until the treehouse gets a pool, I can't really show where I am strongest... because that would be in the pool). I am DETERMINED to be able to hold a plank for a minute. Who knew that could be so tough!?! I'll be working on planks at home this week, to prove it to myself that I can in fact put mind over matter and accomplish the side plank.
You know, while working out today, the muscles that talked back the most... were my lower abs -- right where the c/sections occurred (4 c/s in 6.5 years) -- It was awesome to feel them working and burning. I can't wait to see the results in a few weeks. A flatter stomach will surely feel nicer under clothes. The rounded pooch of a belly that is there now, is extremely unattractive and really gets in the way of doing things, such as sit ups!
I had my pre-workout banana while on the way to the Treehouse. I figure I'll fix some breakfast here in a bit. This week is a big week, the baby is turning 1! I have to do lots of planning so I can enjoy a slice of Kalico Kitchen cake on Saturday. I've already planned that any leftover cake will be sliced and taken to my mom's house to be frozen and used as dessert on Easter at Grandma's house. Keeping the menu for the party pretty simple, Whole Wheat rolls, turkey, sliced cheese, veggie tray, goldfish for the little kids, chex mix for the adults and Kalico Kitchen Cake... we will do a candy bar (the kind where you have candy and you fill a bag) for the favors -- that way, ALL CANDY will leave my house! Though I've not been tempted by the candy.
I am having a HUGE craving for a Reeses Peanut Butter Egg. I've decided that when the craving gets overwhelming, I'll just buy a single egg -- and savor it, rather than doing what I normally do... buying the bag of the mini eggs and freezing them and eating them whenever. Granted, I'll freeze that egg before I savor it... LOL (which is dangerous, because if the husband or a child finds it, they may eat it before I do!) All in all, the craving hasn't been overwhelming yet, and I'm hoping it remains that way!
Gotta keep up my motivation this week. Warmer weather makes me want to be more active, so I am really hoping we get some warmer days SOON! I turn into a slug in cold weather. I need your help this week in keeping everything going! If you want to get together and walk or whatever, let me know! I CAN DO THIS!
Monday, March 7, 2011
2 egg white omelet with onions, red pepper, spinach and garlic and parmesan
high fiber english muffin
whole wheat flat bread, spread w/ 1 tbsp of sundried tomato basil humus, 2 oz shaved turkey, 1 cup of baby spinach
Mango, walnuts & Almonds (100 calorie pack, Emerald)
Turkey burger on a bed of garlic wilted baby spinach, topped with garlic onion and mushrooms and a slice of swiss cheese
steamed broccoli sprinkled with parmesan
1/2 Whole Wheat tortilla
It's been a good day, despite the stomach bug hitting my son in the middle of the night. I did oversleep this morning, which made Maegs late for school. We were just worn out after the middle of the night barf-o-rama! Had a fun day with the kids, just hanging out at the house and taking lots of pictures. Then the kids got to play outside... I wanted to play out there with them, but the baby was sleeping and I had onions caramelizing on the stove top, so I watched them as they ran around so happy to be outside in the sunshine. They did not even care that it was cold out there! I just finished work, and now I'm going to put one sweet baby girl to bed! In 2 days she will be ONE! I cannot believe my baby is nearly a year old.
After she goes down for the night, then it is time for a workout for me! And then BED TIME -- 4:45 comes EARLY and I do not want to oversleep like I did today!
Night night, sleep tight, don't let any buggies bite!!!
Omelet- 2 egg whites, mushrooms, spinach, garlic and Parmesan
Almonds/walnuts and mango
Tastefully simple tasting party
11 tortillas with assorted dips (less than 2 tbsp of dips)
10 cubes of beer bread with assorted dips,(less than 2 tbsp)
Small cube of apple cake
Loads of carrots and red peppers
Taste of key lime cheese ball on a piece of twisty Graham
Whole wheat spaghetti noodles (1/2 cup) with very veggie tomato sauce with ground chicken
Over 96 ounces of water
Over 8 glasses of water!
High fiber English muffin
Nuts and mango
1 1/2cups shrimp/crawfish ettouffee with brown rice
GOTTA GO, more later!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Guess who just did jumping jacks?!? Me! And other than the girls escaping their holster, it was a success, and I did many in a row (albeit with my arms firmly folded against the revolting masses attempting escape)!!! Thank God! I was really upset about not being able to do one the other day, I had to redeem myself! My husband was here to witness the event! I can do jumping jacks, I can, I can! I think I may do more, just because I can... Can we say BREAKTHRU Moment!?!? Oh thank you legs for working! I never want to not be able to do them again!
This has been a wonderful Saturday! Little successes build confidence in big ways!
I literally sat down to type this as soon as I finished, because I was so excited. I'm sweating like a little piggy. I think I may put the baby into the stroller and head out for a walk for 20 more minutes of cardio. The family is at Shoney's breakfast buffet now... and I chose not to join them. Just not ready for that yet. I had a delicious breakfast here and I have two parties to contend with this weekend, so I don't want to push myself too much!
Tonight I have a mardi gras party to go to. There will be King Cake from NOLA -- I actually think I can pass it up. I've had king cake before, even one from NOLA, so I think it is something I can say no to. In fact, I'm not worried about tonight's party at all. I'm much more concerned about my Tastefully Simple party tomorrow. My sister and I have to make all of the food tonight. I'm trying to make better choices, ie: fixing the dips with yogurt (greek style, plain) and serving veggies as dippers. The beer bread is difficult for me as are the cheese dips. I just need to keep BUSY so I won't feel the need to be snacking. And I will eat my regular meals, so I won't feel hungry. I will also have a hospital cup of water near me the entire time. I'm sure I can do this... I just have to plan well and remind myself that cheating only cheats me! No one else gets those calories! And I must make sure to workout at some point tomorrow.
Carry on with your beautiful Saturday, and I will post my food journal for the day, tonight after the party! Happy Weekend!!! DO something FUN!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Not much to report today. Had my first trip to Whole Foods. What a great store! I'd say best fish counter in Richmond. About to do a work out... Probably 30 minutes tonight.
Here is my food journal for today:
English muffin (high fiber)
Crunchy spicy shrimp roll with brown rice
Triscuits and veggie yogurt cheese
Whole wheat spaghetti
Wilted spinach,mushrooms and garlic
Salad with Parmesan and Caesar vinaigrette
Over eight glasses of water for the day.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Had a success today, actually went to Wils' Art Show, and passed up the refreshments except for a glass of water!
Multigrain, high fiber English muffin
Morning Star Farms Sausage Patty
1/2 slice of cheese
2 cups salad
Triscuits and veggie yogurt cheese
Plain baked sweet potato
My Three Goals:
To lose SOME weight. I don't care how much, I just want to see the scale going down!
To gain energy!
To gain confidence!
Why this is important: I have four children who need me to be there for them and I need to be a role model for them.
Negative attitude (myself and others)
Lack of organization
Actions to accomplish goals:
Attend my class
Engage in POSITIVE talking/thinking
Work on organization a little each day in all different areas of my life
Yup, today, I cried. Embarrassing -- but thinking about why it is important, really got to me. I want to be a positive healthy role model for my children, and I am anything but that at this point. That is so unfair to these precious little ones! I also want to BE HERE for my babies. With Serena Williams suffering a pulmonary embolism yesterday and she is in the best shape of her life... it made me realize, I'm a ticking time bomb, by NOT being in good shape. These things can happen to anyone at anytime, but because she is in such great physical condition, she is more able to have a full recovery. Would my body be able to fight back so well? I doubt it.
The workout today was only 1/2 an hour and it went by REALLY fast... but it was a painful reminder of just how far I need to go... I couldn't even do one jumping jack! First of all, my sports bra is NOT the right one... one jump and I thought the girls were gonna give me black eyes! Secondly, after squats on Tuesday, my thighs fought against me with every ounce of their being. Thirdly, WHERE did my coordination go? So, that was pretty much a FRIGHTENING and VERY SICKENINGLY embarrassing part of the workout. Then we did something else, I can't even remember (Mental Black Out maybe???) -- then sprints and more jumping (jumping squats even) and after that, we had to do SPIDERMAN PUSH UPS... WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST?!? Literally, we had to go from one end of the room to the other doing pushups/crawls the likes of spiderman scaling a building. Let's just say, I felt sorry for anyone who had to see the back of me during this exercise. This is one of THE hardest things I've ever done in my life. I felt so badly for the rest of the girls, because I was DEFINITELY holding everyone back, because I am THAT slow! It wasn't pretty, but I made it with the help and encouragement of all the girls! <3 Couldn't do it with out them! After that we did an interval segment ... MORE LEG and core work. My legs are truly angry with me -- to that I say, SUCK IT UP and get stronger so it won't hurt so bad! After a wonderful cool down and stretch, I didn't think I could get up off that floor, but I did. And I got to my car, and I drove home.
Driving home I got emotional all over again. This is VERY VERY VERY hard for me. This is PAINFULLY embarrassing for me. It is amazing the lies I have told myself over the years, about how I didn't really look "that" bad, I wasn't "that" out of shape. WOW, I really deceived myself. I bought into those lies.
You know, I'm gonna throw it out there, balls to the wall -- I'm doing this, so I'm gonna be completely honest. 288 lbs -- THAT is my starting point. (Tears are falling, admitting this to all of you.) HOLY CRAP, WHO allows themselves to get to that point??? Is food REALLY worth that number??? Believe it or not, that is NOT my biggest point -- but it was my starting point for this journey. It makes me sick to even look at that number and what I have let myself become. Horrible. God gave me this body, amazingly made, amazingly knit together, and I've ruined it! It was a gift HE gave me, and I have not cared for it or treated it with the respect it deserves. I feel like saying, "Hey, Holy Spirit, are you able to breathe in there??? HELP ME FIX THIS!!!" I want to be able to quote the Virginia Slims ad from when I was younger, "You've come a long way, Baby!" when I finish my first 8 weeks. A side goal I have in all of this, is that in 8 weeks, I can take the pants I wore the first week, and instead of wearing them in the picture, HOLD THEM UP BESIDE ME and say... LOOK WHERE I CAME FROM and LOOK WHERE I AM NOW!
I have a long way to go, but I have a wonderful group of ladies who are pushing me and encouraging me a long the way. I am blessed.
Now, I need to make breakfast. I thought I was going to throw up when I got home, but now that the insides are settled, I'm ready to eat.
High Fiber Multigrain Eng. Muffin
1/2 a slice of cheese
Honey roasted Sunflower seeds
Chick fil A Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich (with lettuce and tomato)
Side Salad with 1/2 the pack of croutons and 1/2 pouch of FF Honey Mustard dressing
No afternoon snack (too full)
Mushrooms, asparagus, spinach, chicken and cheese quesadilla (F I L L I N G, nearly 2 cups of veggies in the quesadilla)
After dinner snack:
Emerald Nuts cocoa roasted almonds
All in all, this is a menu I could eat every single day, it was DELICIOUS and filling, I was not hungry at ALL throughout the day (which is the point, keep blood sugar at a constant level so there are no crashes and the metabolism continues to burn)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Spinach and mushroom omelet
mini luna bar (80 cal)
cocoa roasted almonds (100 cal pack)
yogurt raisins (the really small box for kids)
Whole Wheat Flatbread
1 tsp hummus
1/2 cup raw spinach
2 slices of turkey
1 slice of swiss
salad with feta and caesar dressing
salmon and asparagus
All of my water!
I'd say, that's a great day!
OK so, do I post the weight or not? I don't know.
Inches: I've already forgotten... good thing they are written down! (but the paper stays at the treehouse)
SO, fitness assessment was pitiful! I want to cry just thinking about how horribly I did. I know part of it is due to my lowered ability to breathe (bronchitis is lingering), but most of it is due to my lack of training in the past 5 years. ZERO sit ups. ZERO push ups (we weren't allowed to do girlie style). 27 squats (my favorite, but killed my legs for the run). 27 bicep curls. Held my plank for 16 seconds (probably could have gone longer, but breathing was an issue). Held my side bridge for 10 seconds -- stupid me, I did it on my LEFT, should have gone on my right as it is my stronger side!
THEN came the run. 1/2 a mile -- outside. I have not run in YEARS -- by years I mean, probably high school! (20ish years) P I T I F U L -- the cold air was a shock to my lungs, my legs were like jelly from the squats -- I started at the back of the pack. This was difficult for me... left behind, watching everyone off on a great pace, and I was struggling just to look like I was jogging. I made it to Martins and the jog turned into a walk... now everyone had made the turn and were headed back to the finish line, I hadn't even found the half way point! I round the corner and see the half way point... my lungs were talking back, the cough was coming on. I made the turn and headed back to the finish line. I see the girls running back from the finish line... they came back for me... I picked up my walking pace. (Tears are falling as I write this.) They encouraged me and asked if I thought I could jog it out to the finish line... I pushed through my mental hurtle and I jogged the rest of the way to the finish line, with the girls at my side cheering me on. I was dead last, but at the same time... I finished 1/2 a mile in under 8 minutes -- that in itself is an accomplishment for me. It probably looked weak and pathetic to the faster runners who were probably wanting to curse me for taking so long, but just 2 years ago, I couldn't walk a mile in 16 minutes! For me, this run, while painful and intimidating, showed me that I CAN accomplish big things!
At the end of our class, we took pictures. I had mine taking in my sportsbra tank and my yoga pants. I'm going to try and get a copy of the picture from Rachel so that I can post it here for you all to see. It is NOT pretty, by any stretch of anyone's imagination!
I felt really weak at the end of class. Lots of coughing. The drive home was tough, my foot was shaking as I pressed the gas pedal. Today was ONLY the assessment, the workout comes on Thursday. I'm scared!!! I better remember my food journal or we have to do FIFTY push ups!!!
Surprisingly, I'm not ready to go lay in my bed and take a nap. I've gotten Caity ready for the day, fixed breakfast for two of the kiddos, and I'll fix the other two and I some breakfast shortly. I'm definitely hungry, even after having a banana and a mini luna bar on the way to the treehouse. I am sure I'll be ready for bed early tonight. Let's hope work is light this evening, so that I can climb right in my bed and rest up.
If anyone wants to meet up tomorrow for an hour walk or something cardio, let me know! I have to do at least 3 hours of cardio on my own, outside of class each week. Walking counts!!! Tennis counts, TOO, so if anyone wants to play tennis, let me know!
On the way home from treehouse, I had some fun encounters with nature. A beautiful albino squirrel crossed in front of my car. And then when I turned into my neighborhood, a big deer was standing in the middle of the street watching me. I slowed down and let her know she was in no danger. She looked back behind her and then 3 or 4 more deer came out onto the street with her and then they darted off into the woods. So beautiful!
So, I survived day 1. Thanks for your prayers, your encouragement and your support! I know I cannot do this alone.