Yoga in the morning Meeting in the evening

At 5:30 in the morning, when you hear you are getting ready to do yoga, what would you think? Me, well, I thought, I'm too sleepy for this. BUT, I'll do it, because I have seen what yoga can do for a body. I like to think I have good balance, then I try a yoga pose... and well, I have a lot to learn!

I definitely did not fall asleep during this class. I was sweating like a pig. My heart was beating out of my chest. I tried everything, though wasn't successful at everything. I'm feeling it tonight. So very sore... but worth it! If I thought my arms were hurting before today, well, that was nothing!

It's fantastic discovering new facets of my body... my collar bones are now showing, my shoulders are rounding out, my biceps are tightening up. Over all the body is changing. It's nice zipping up my coat and it fits perfectly comfortably over my hips. The soreness is quite worth it!

So, here was my food intake for today!

Breakfast
Banana
sausage, cheese, eng muffin

Snack
six pieces of honey nut chex
mini luna bar

Lunch
Shrimp n veggie fajita

Snack
1 piece of dark choc.
1 cup of Multigrain Cheerios

Dinner
crab cake and salad -- balsamic vinaigrette (barely any, as it was on the side and I just dipped my fork in it before picking up my salad bites)

All of my water (64+ oz)

Originally Posted on my Primary Blog

So this was the post I wrote once I found out about being selected as the winner of a session of Body Back. I posted this on my primary blog. This is where I came from when starting BodyBack:

Yep, that's right! I'm on the blog again! A big change is coming to my life. An exciting opportunity has dropped into my lap! A challenge has been issued and I am taking it head on. Full Speed Ahead!

I am making a commitment, right here, right now! I will blog everyday of my journey. Why will I blog, because, I want to SEE where I started and how I do along the way. Some days will be hard, some days I will be exhausted and may want to give up. My blog will be my outlet.

My friends and family are needed for support. I have my own ability to sabotage my efforts, I do not need help from outside forces, so hear me right now... if you don't want to see me succeed at this, then stop reading my blog RIGHT NOW -- I have my own evils that keep me from achieving my dreams and I definitely do not want any naysayers on my journey with me. So move along, there is nothing to see here!

This blog is for me to work out what I am going through each day. Words of encouragement along my journey are much appreciated. Stories that could be motivational, MORE than appreciated! PRAYERS are coveted!

My absolutely gorgeous, beyond amazing, hunky, delicious, fantastic, precious, inspiring Mr. Perfect made a statement that I need to be reminded of throughout this journey. I was telling him how nervous I am, and how I fail so miserably so easily all the time... and he said, "Give it to God, let GOD succeed -- it isn't all about you, but about what God can do in and through you." WOW!!! Who is that man I married?!?! To think, when we met, he wasn't even a Christian, didn't really know much about the church or the body of Christ -- and now HE is reminding me that GOD has the power to perform miracles and the power to help me achieve my goals. His words were and are extremely encouraging. I know he will be praying for me everyday on my journey. I am eternally grateful for a husband who is filled with the Holy Spirit and isn't afraid to use the power that God has bestowed in all of us! Thank you, GOD, for Mr. Perfect in my life. I am so glad you hand picked him for me!

OK, so today is Day 1... even though the actual hard part of the journey doesn't start until Feb. 28. Day 1 = getting mentally prepared for the journey ahead. Getting my head in the game. Getting my heart in the game. Talking myself OUT of self sabotage. Moving myself forward into a new phase.

A quick review of the past 10.5 years:
July 1, 2000 Married Mr. Perfect
May 1, 2001 Last BCP ever
July 1, 2001 Discovered we were preggo!
August, 2001 DNC to remove fetal tissue from miscarriage
October 2001, 2nd DNC for removal of fetal tissue that apparently was not all removed during 1st DNC
October 2002 Round 1 of Clomid
November 2002 Round 2 of Clomid
December 8, 2002 Discovered we were preggo!
August 15, 2003 Induction
August 16, 2003
August 17, 2003 Induction day 3, 10:42 p.m. Baby Girl #1 born by c/section
January 31, 2004 Discovered we were preggo!
February 14, 2004 Miscarriage on Valentine's Day
January 2005 Discovered we were preggo!
March 2005, Discovered baby had no heartbeat
June 2005, Discovered we were preggo!<
June 2005, lost the baby just as soon as we discovered<
July 2005, began water aerobics
September 2005, began working out in earnest and doing Weight Watchers
October 2005, 30th birthday! Told Mr. Perfect I was happy with my life and meant it.<
November 2005 had lost 29 lbs.
November 2005, Thanksgiving Day, discovered at the gym that I was PREGGO!<
July 14, 2006 Baby Boy born by c/section
April 2007 Discovered I was preggo!
December 13, 2007 Baby Girl #2 was born!
February 2009 Car was rearended, discovered I was preggo!
March 2009 Walked in the 10K, started spotting
April 10, 2009 discovered baby had no heartbeat, decided to allow my body to naturally cleanse
May 2009 experienced the worst miscarriage of all of my losses, 3 hour pain intensive labor
May 2009 begged Mr. Perfect to NEVER get me pregnant again
July 6, 2009 discovered I was preggo!
September 2009 could not find the baby's heartbeat, emergency ultrasound, baby was FINE!
November 2009 high level ultrasound to view baby's heart -- everything was fine
March 9, 2010 Baby Girl #3 born a week earlier than scheduled, healthy and amazing!
May 10, 2010 Baby girl #3 to ER for croup in the middle of the night
May 12, 2010 Baby girl #3 referred to a cardiologist for possible VSD (congenital heart defect)
May 19, 2010 Baby girl #3 cardiologist confirmed 2 heart defects (VSD/PDA)
May 19, 2010 Decided to start a chapter in Virginia of The Children's Heart Foundation
June 17, 2010 CHFVA held its first meeting
September 2010 second meeting w/ cardiologist, seems defects are trying to self correct
October 18, 2010 CHFVA held its first Golf Tournament in memory of Allison Jacobs<
February 18, 2010 Offered a life changing experience and accepted it<
February 20, 2010 Started blogging again...

As you can see, a lot of my past 10 years has revolved around pregnancy and losses and some scary moments with child #4. Being a mom is the most rewarding and wonderful job in the world, and the job I wanted most in the world. I wouldn't have gone through 5 losses if I didn't seriously want to be a mother. However, in becoming a mother, I've lost sight of ME... and that is not good for any of us in my family. I have forgotten to take care of myself. And in not taking care of me, others in my family have suffered. It is time to get ME back. It is time to take care of ME so I can better take care of these little people I helped bring into this world. It is time to take care of ME so I can be the wife Mr. Perfect deserves! It is time to take care of ME so I feel better about myself, so I like myself again and so I can relieve some self inflicted pressure off my life.

Since having child #2 I've neglected several areas in my life. It is easy to make excuses for why I have ignored these areas, but truth be told, I long to focus on these areas again. Yes, the excuses will still be there, and I'm sure I will try and pull them out ... but I have to remember that first and foremost I am doing this journey for MYSELF so that I can be a better wife, mother, friend and leader. With Mr. Perfect and Four children -- there are NO excuses that are acceptable for ignoring what I need to do in my life... do I want to continue to be here and be mother to my children and wife to my husband? If so, then I need to start this journey and stick with it! We are never guaranteed tomorrow, but with the way I have been living, I've been pushing the limits of tomorrow for a long time, giving up a chance at tomorrow for stupid excuses. No more excuses will hold me back. It's time for me to get my . . .

Stay tuned!

Wednesday Food Journal

I think I did better today! Funny thing. When my alarm went off this morning, it was sort of light outside, I sat straight up in bed, grabbed my phone, turned off the alarm and thought, OMG, I MISSED Body Back! In fact, all day long, I kept thinking it was Thursday. I'm getting to bed much later than I planned tonight. I'm exhausted. I know I'll be exhausted in the morning. Going to go lay out my clothes, socks and shoes and then get my banana and water bottle ready with my keys so I can hurry and be ready in the morning. I've got to remember to set my alarm as well! The cold weather is NOT my friend. It makes me very sloth like! I just want to lay around, under big heavy covers. But tomorrow is a very busy day, so I have no time for laying around tomorrow. I pray for energy to make it through the day!

Here is my Wednesday Journal:

Breakfast

English muffin

Veg. Sausage

Strawberries and 1/2 a banana

Snack

4 triscuits

spicy shrimp spring roll (not fried)

Lunch

W.W. tortilla

spinach, salad, onion, orange pepper, colby cheese

8 medium steamed shrimp w/ cocktail sauce

Snack

Multigrain Cheerios

1/2 cup of Skim Milk

Dinner

Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich w/ lettuce and tomato

salad w/ ff honey mustard dressing, croutons, sunflower seeds

All my water

Welcome Back!

So, yesterday was my big weigh in, 9.5 lbs down. I'm still high on the excitement! Yesterday wasn't necessarily my best eating day. I tried to plan well for my day because I knew I was going to a meeting and there would be food and drinks at the meeting. I was positively giddy when I saw that Champagne Taste (the caterer for the meeting) had made everything in perfect portion small plates, rather than just setting out platters of food. They made it very easy for me to make good choices, and I opted for water rather than any other beverage, because they had the most delicious looking chocolate dipped strawberries, and I knew I wanted one. I did not sabotage all of my hard work, I think I just didn't not eat enough calories. My head is throbbing this morning, so my guess is the lack of calories could be the culprit. And I had a high fat day, which will dictate my eating for today! I MUST get to the store and get some fresh berries and veggies so that today can be a "Lighter" day, but with more calories than yesterday.

SO, with that, here is the journal from yesterday:

Tuesday

Breakfast

left over 1/2 mini Jersey Mike's Sub (Turkey, provolone, lettuce, tomato, onion, on wheat)

banana

snack

mango/ 100 cal pack almonds/walnuts

4 triscuits

lunch

w.w. tortilla w/ chicken, spinach, lettuce, shredded carrots & cabbage, peppers, onion, swiss

snack

Marathon bread w/ smear of peanut butter

dinner

2 jumbo shrimp w/ cocktail sauce

single serving size mixed raw veggies w/ less than 1 oz ranch dressing

two rice crackers and 2 cubes of cheese

one chocolate dipped strawberry (worth every calorie and fat gram)

one glass of sliced strawberries (Had husband eat the whipped cream off of it)

And I drank lots of water!

Learning A Lot

Today was a day that I was nervous about. I knew we could weigh if we wanted to weigh. I was nervous about this, because I'd eaten a few things that aren't necessarily the best choices, and was worried I'd sabotaged myself. When I stepped up on the scale, I was a little concerned that I would see no change. I didn't "feel" any lighter this week. I knew I'd eaten BW3 food twice, and lots of sushi (which, I am not apologetic over sushi, I love that stuff, and I don't use soy sauce so I keep the sodium to a minimum). I even had 1/2 a mini sub from Jersey Mike's (Totally thought it was the regular, but when Matt got home later he told me it was just the mini... I could have eaten the whole thing, but I didn't!). Color me completely shocked when I looked down at the scale and it said 278.5 -- WHAT!?! HELLO? EXCUSE ME!?! Are my eyes deceiving me???!!! Nope, I looked again, 278.5 -- That was 4.5 lbs less than 2 weeks ago! THAT was 9.5 lbs down from Week 1 weigh in! And not only that... I did SPIDERMAN PUSH UPS TODAY! They aren't pretty, but I DID THEM! And a HUGE Thanks to Kim for sticking with me and pushing me through! Today was a huge success for me!

One thing I've learned is, everything is OK in moderation... I've always heard that, but never really known how to do that... usually I over indulge, feel horrible for screwing up, and then over do again out of frustration. Now I know how to do it w/o sabotaging everything. IF I want something that isn't necessarily the best choice, I either make a better choice, OR have the "something" and then instead of punishing myself for doing it, I reward myself for not over doing it, by doing something active. IE: I KNOW I want Duck Donuts at the beach this summer. I also know, it isn't too far to jog to DD, so I'll jog up there, eat my donut and then jog back. I get what I want, and feel ZERO guilt! Win/Win! Learning these coping mechanisms is what is helps me live life. I'm not depriving myself of anything, only adding in fun activities that enhance my life. Jogging may not be my favorite thing to do, but it makes me feel STRONG, and thus, it is a reward to jog, not a punishment. I love the after feeling of success.

This week I went for a run on my own on Sunday night. I had pent up energy after the VCU game. I also knew I'd eaten 5 wheat thins and had some pimento cheese ... two things that weren't the best choice for me. So, I rewarded myself with a little jog around the neighborhood. It was a 1 mile course. And ME, yes ME, I ran 3/4 of that 1 mile! That is a HUGE accomplishment for me.

I'm learning that it is actually rewarding and a little fun to push yourself past where you think your limit is. By pushing just a little further, I feel so much more successful. I feel accomplished. That does not mean that I feel fabulous after I finish... no, I often feel sick to my stomach, shaky and sore -- but that's just the physical... The MENTAL feelings are much more powerful and worth the physical effects.

This week marks the beginning of our 5th week. I don't want to lose my momentum. Your words of encouragement are MUCH appreciated to help get me through to week 8! I really appreciate you all following my journey and cheering with me on my successes. It means so much!

NOW, Monday's food journal that did not get published last night

Breakfast

Eng. Muffin, Veg. Sausage, Colby Chs

Snack

Mango/nuts

Lunch

1/2 mini sub from Jersey Mike's

Snack

leftover buffalito w/ jerk sauce

Dinner

shredded rotisserie chicken (caribbean lime flavor) over 2.5 cups of salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette

1 slice of marathon bread w/ just a smear of peanut butter (not even 1 tbsp) <-- this was dessert, and was delicious!

All of my water!

Weekend Food Journals

What an amazingly WONDERFUL weekend! GO VCU RAMS!!! Today was so awesome, being with my family. All of us, except my brother, have attended or DO attend VCU currently! We screamed and hooted and jumped up and down. My Dad even ran onto his front porch screaming. Such a thrilling weekend! I only wish we could get to Houston for the Final Four!

OK so with that said, it was PARTY time on Friday. I saved up my calories on Friday so I could splurge on Friday night... that was completely stupid. I planned to splurge, but then got full before I even ate half of my meal!!! Saturday was crazy because I had to go out of town. And today was party time at Mom's house! So here are the journals...

Friday

Breakfast

Eng. muffin, veg. sausage, chz, spinach

Snack

Fruit salad

Lunch

veggie burrito with mushrooms, peppers, onions, spinach, garlic, and pepper jack chz on whole wheat tortilla

Snack

Raisins/power berries

almonds

Dinner

BW3 - Grilled chicken buffalitos w/ jerk sauce, no sour cream, chips and salsa (ate half of the meal)

ate 4 roasted garlic mushrooms (removed breading)

ate 2 bites of a boneless chicken wing

Saturday

Breakfast

Sausage/cheese/eng. muffin

mint

Snack

Mango/walnuts/almonds

Mint

Lunch

Spicy Crab Roll (3 pieces)

California Roll (4 pieces)

Snack

Summer Roll (1/2)

Spicy Shrimp Summer Roll (1/2)

Dinner

Rotisserie Chicken Breast (sliced) over salad w/ onions and peppers, totally forgot dressing!

Broccoli

taste of saffron rice (about 2 tablespoons)

Sunday

Breakfast

3 Fiber One pancakes (small)

1 tbsp All natural syrup

2 eggwhite hash w/ mushrooms, onions, peppers, garlic and parm

Snack

Mango

Almonds

Lunch

Green Beans

spoonful of mashed potatoes

mustard greens (NEVER AGAIN)

fruit salad

Snack

5 wheat thins

2 tbsp jalapeno pimento cheese

Dinner

1/4 cup of Cottage Cheese (1% milk fat)

salad, croutons, onions, colby jack shredded cheese, italian dressing

Drank all my water EVERYday!

Went for a run tonight! Super Proud as I ran more tonight than ever! :) Can't wait to figure out the amount of running I did, possibly half a mile (HUGE for me!) ... NOW, I can go to bed! So glad to finally have these written down!

Great Start to end 4th Week

Today marks FOUR WEEKS completed!!! I have not missed a class yet. I have not died in class. I have not tooted in class (major fear... no, seriously).

This morning, the alarm went off, I was snuggled warm beneath the covers. I could hear Matt's heavy sleep breathing. All I wanted to do was snuggle down more, and keep snoozing. I hit snooze. Guilt crept in. I knew I had to get up. I knew I would not regret getting up. So, I got up. I had prepared pumpkin muffins for Rachel's (our instructor) birthday. I knew I did not want to miss her birthday.

I made it to class before it had started! Rachel announced we would be playing games today. Mind you, these games she speaks of, are not necessarily EASY games. First was tag... only with a twist. We had to use glider discs under our feet. I was an easy target, but I had so much fun! Next we had teams, and did a relay of sorts. THAT was exhausting, but again, I had a blast! Then we played Rock Paper Scissors Tag... OH MY GRACIOUS... that was a losing battle for me! LOL but I laughed through it!

OK lost my train of thought because I had to go pick up kids from schools. Soooooo I'll just finish with this... I am so sore I can hardly move! Shoulders, quads, calves, abs, tricepts, upper back, lower back, hip flexers, booty -- you name it, it is sore! NOT "hurt" -- just well worked out SORE! Uff Da! I think I may have to skip my run in the morning and move it to the evening.

Here is the food journal for today:

Breakfast:

English Muffin, Sausage, Cheese, Spinach

Fruit Salad (strawberries, banana, blueberry)

Snack:

I saved my pumpkin muffin for my morning snack... GOOD CALL! It was the perfect snack. I did add a few nuts (Almonds/Walnuts)

Lunch:

Wrap -- spinach, red pepper, onion, chicken, swiss

Snack:

yogurt raisins

Dinner:

Left over whole wheat spaghetti w/ extra veggies in sauce

LOTS of water!

It's been a long day...

Today was V-Day for our family... no that does not stand for Valentine's Day. It stands for Vasectomy Day!

Matt got the kids off to school this morning, while I tried to organize the day. We had to be at Stony Point by 12:30. Of course we ended up running late. We dropped the kids off with my parents and then headed off for the adventure. The nurse was a sweet as sugar and explained everything to both of us. I figured I'd be there about 2 hours or so. Turns out, we were there exactly one hour, from the moment we drove up until the moment we left! Matt did really well with his procedure and isn't in too much pain! So he's not regretting his choice, so far.

Once I got him home and settled, I took the kids on to church. Which meant, drive thru, because we were running late (this is NOT something I like to do, especially since I'd already eaten fast food!) ... Tonight I put all the kids to bed (usually Daddy does bedtime)... the kids missed Daddy, but were very good for me.

So, my journal for the day goes like this:

Breakfast

English Muffin, veggie sausage, cheese, banana

Lunch

Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich and a side salad w/ FF honey mustard

Snack

1/2 a spring roll (not fried)

3 chocolate chips

Dinner

mini chicken wrap, no sauce and ditched half the tortilla

Snack

mango

walnuts/almonds 100 cal pack

Oopsy

So I planned out my meals for today, but then totally disregarded the fact that I have leftovers that HAVE to be eaten today or to the garbage they will go!

So the revamped plan is:

Breakfast

poached egg (with spinach and 1/2 eng. muffin)

shrimp

mushrooms

onions

garlic

banana

Snack

sushi veggie roll

Lunch

leftover grilled chicken buffalito

strawberries

Snack

string cheese and a serving of tricuits

Dinner

Whole wheat spaghetti

ground turkey

peppers/onions/mushrooms/spinach mixed into spaghetti sauce

sprinkle of parmesan cheese

side salad

I did NOT sleep well last night at all. Two of the kids came into the bed with us at some point during the night, which only provided for LESS sleep! I kept waking up thinking I'd forgotten to set my alarm. When I finally did hear the alarm go off, I was exhausted. I hopped up out of bed and got ready for class, even took time to wrap my leg before heading out.

Thank GOODNESS for Kay driving today. I do not know that I could have stayed awake to drive this morning... it was that bad.

We went over our goals today. I realized I have met one of my goals and can check it off... I have more energy. Actually, I met another goal as well, but it is an on going goal -- lose SOME weight! I did that (5 lbs, thus far).

Then we worked out. Now I ran/walked yesterday, so my thighs and shins were in a bit of a tizzy this morning and were a bit on the shaky side! However, I feel I did much better today than I was able to do last week. I could do jumping jacks w/o my leg hurting, and I could do reverse lunges w/o my leg hurting... and I even did frog hops down the gym... it took forever, and I was the last one (as usual) -- but the fact is, I did it!

The planks kicked my buns! My shoulders are aching. FIVE MINUTES of planks! Several times during these five minutes I was praying for strength, several times I had to lay down. I was sweating profusely, the sweat was stinging my eyes. At one point I thought I was going to cry because I was getting so frustrated with myself... but through it all, I never gave up, I kept pushing. I even was able to maintain a plank for a short amount of time, on my toes, rocking back and forth like everyone else... maybe not with the same gusto and grace... but I was DOING IT! I was never so happy as when I heard the words "child's pose" YES PLEASE! And then cat and camel stretches. OH THANK YOU for stretches!!! It makes me miss my days of pilates! I must get back to that.

I made an appointment with the nutritionist. I am looking forward to knowing how much I should be eating each day for both weight loss and nursing. I want to optimize my weight loss w/o compromising my nursing... though Cait only nurses a small amount each day.

I'm thinking that every muscle in my body is going to be a bit on the sore side today (or a lot) -- my tricepts are REALLY buggin! My abs are a little disheveled from the 150 crunches -- Yowsa!

I may not have the most beautiful body in class, I may not have the most stamina, I may not have the most grace, I may not have the best form... but I DO have the biggest smile while I workout and I DO have a positive attitude and the willingness to want to keep up with everyone else. The smile is what gets me through. When I want to quit, I put a smile on my face. The smile helps me push through. I don't know if it is a mental thing, but as long as I am smiling, I am able to keep moving.

Keep Smiling! :D

Monday Food Journal

Here we are w/ the Monday food journal... not my best day!

Breakfast

MSF Sausage, cheese, Eng. Muffin

raisins

Snack

1 spring roll (steamed/crab/shrimp/veggies/rice paper)

4 pieces of a veggie roll (sushi)

Lunch

Fruit Salad

1 spring roll (same as above, entire package is 200 calories)

Snack

nuts and mango

Dinner

6 shrimp sauted w/ olive oil, mushrooms, spinach, garlic and lemon juice (fresh) and then topped w/ feta and parmesan

Random

6 whole grain cheez-its while feeding the kids a snack

Have not had all my water today, still working on it. Will work on it until bedtime... which is fast approaching!

Going to plan out tomorrow now:

Breakfast

poached egg

spinach

cheese

english muffin

banana

Snack

sushi veggie roll

Lunch

turkey wrap w/ red pepper, onion, spinach on whole wheat tortilla

Snack

salad

Dinner

Whole wheat spaghetti

ground turkey

peppers/onions/mushrooms/spinach mixed into spaghetti sauce

sprinkle of parmesan cheese

A hard weekend!

This weekend has been GLORIOUS, but difficult. It was a "real life" weekend. I wasn't in my isolated little bubble where I just cook for myself and my family and worry about no "outside forces" on my eating and working out.

Friday night, we had a wonderful cookout at my sister's house. I started Friday with a shopping spree. I had to buy food for Caity's party, and a few groceries for home. I went to Kroger, Trader Joes and Whole Foods as well as a quick stop into Frostings to get a special thank you for my husband. I did NOT get myself anything at Frostings. :D Go Me!

Friday food journal:

English Muffin

MSF Veggie Patty

Cheese

Raisins

Snack

Mango

1/4 of a pre-made Whole Foods salad (rustic root veggie salad)

Lunch

Sushi

Snack

almonds and walnuts

Dinner

Gigantic salad w/ Caesar Vinaigrette and feta and grilled chicken slices

Grilled shrimp

My sister decided she'd make a triffle for the cookout. Brownies, chocolate pudding, whipped topping and cherry pie filling. -- I stayed AWAY from it! When everyone had finished eating, I just could not look at it sitting out any longer, so I took it upon myself to put it away. Great move, out of site out of mind! I managed to get in all of my water on Friday, despite being super busy!

So, Saturday was the big party day! I had to pick up the cake at 9 am. We'd stayed up late watching the game the night before (GO RAMS GO) -- so I was late waking up and did not have time to grab breakfast before leaving the house. Then I had to drop off the cake at my parent's house and then go pick up some of my kids from my sister's house. I got home at 11 am... STARVING and GRUMPY! So I quickly fixed my breakfast and ate it. I had to run back to my parents house, so I grabbed a snack to take with me, as not to eat any foods from mom's that might be trigger foods to keep eating (her house is NOT SAFE for someone with an eating addiction). I got everything fixed and ready for the party and then ran home to shower and get my kids. The party was great and I did pretty well staying on task. I planned ahead what I was going to eat and I stuck to that plan, until the cake came out. Princess flavor... oh my. Yes, cutting the cake, I was salivating. Kalico Kitchen cake is not a safe food in my house! I cannot resist the smell! I ate a very small slice of cake. Then I had some icing. I kept TRYING to keep myself away from it. Then someone would talk to me and stand right by the cake. UGH! I had another bite of discarded icing... CURSE YOU ICING! Finally, I could take it no longer, I sliced up all of the cake, put it in plastic wrap and zip lock bags and then scraped all of the extra icing off and put it in the middle of the cardboard and then folded up the cardboard and said "Someone THROW THIS AWAY PLEASE!" -- At last, temptation was removed. All night, I beat myself up for being so weak minded and allowing the cake and icing to have power over me. Then this morning, when I woke up, I realized that I had actually done very well... in the past, I would have kept taking slivers of cake (I did take a second small slice later in the evening, before I cut it up and put it all away. So, technically, I had the equivalent of 1 regular slice) -- in the past, I wouldn't have thrown any of that extra icing away, it would have landed right on my hips as I licked my fingers and lips! I realize, that while it was not a perfect day... I had made a major improvement and come so far from my former self. I was able to celebrate a small victory. So, after the party, then it was time for my sister in law's birthday dinner. Homemade chicken enchiladas by my mother. *sigh* Her enchiladas are my favorite food, next to pizza (which I have not had ANY pizza since before I started my journey. I know I will again, just haven't wanted it.) Her enchiladas are FAT CITY! I ate 1/2 of one (actually, a little less than 1/2). I knew I did not need or want more. Then it was time to sing happy birthday and more cake (this time Ukrops cake) -- My mom had the audacity to ask me if I wanted cake and ice cream. Now I adore my mother, she's one of my best friends. But, she has this southern hospitality mentality that she has to offer everything to everyone or she's being mean. I politely declined her invitation... with NO regrets. I was probably rude to my sister in law when she walked in yesterday... she walked into the party with a banana pudding milkshake from ChickFilA... well it just so happens, I looked up the nutrition on that recently and that shake (the small) is over 800 calories. She is unaware of my journey. But when she walked in and started gushing about her shake, I looked at her and said, "That thing is over 800 calories... for the SMALL!" -- She just waved her hand and said, "Oh Well, I'll take it!" There is so much more I could say about that, but I won't as it would be gossip and that would be wrong... as she isn't here to defend herself. So anyway, if I was wrong or not, at least she now has food for thought!

Saturday Food Journal

Breakfast

Sausage and cheese eng muffin

Snack

walnuts/mango

Lunch

turkey/swiss wrap w. spinach on whole wheat tortilla (which sister in law spit out... LOL ... she was not a fan of the low cal tortilla choice)

carrots & hummus

grape tomatoes and cauliflower w/ a scant amount of cucumber dip

1/2 serving of whole wheat cheeze-its

1/2 slice of cake

snack

1/2 turkey wrap (no cheese)

1/2 slice cake (eek)

dinner

1/2 a homemade chicken enchilada

lots and lots of water

Sunday was a crazy day as well! Wils had to sing at his preschool this morning for their PreSchool Sunday service. The morning was hectic, but we made it to church on time with ALL of the kids! Afterward, Cook-Out was where everyone wanted to go. I was not interested in buying anything there, because I wanted a turkey wrap at home. SO, I ate a taste of Matt's chicken quesadilla and then once we finally got home, I fixed a nice lunch for myself. The rest of the afternoon was a little crazy as well. I had to go pick up my "new in box" jogging stroller that I got off of Craigs List! Yahoooooo!!! Then when I got back, it was time to get to the grocery store for our weekly groceries! And I had to take Maegs to Dicks for soccer cleats and then to BW3 for game food. And I TOTALLY forgot that I was supposed to deliver baskets for Maegan's school Silent Auction... they are sitting on my kitchen counter and I STILL forgot about them! Duh! Feeling pretty crummy about that right now.

Sunday Food Journal

Breakfast

Sausage Cheese Eng Muffin

Snack

1/4 chicken quesadilla from Cook-Out

Lunch

Turkey and Cheese wrap with spinach and red pepper on whole wheat tortilla

Salad w/ spinach, romaine, onion, red pepper, ice burg, cabbage, carrots, caesar vinaigrette and feta cheese

snack

almonds/walnuts/mango

dinner

1/2 serving Grilled Chicken Buffalitos

1/2 serving of chips and salsa in the Buffalitos meal

all my water

And now, I'm going to bed, because my neighbor and I plan to get up in the morning and go for a run (probably more of a slog, but we are going to do it!)

Thursday Food

Prebreakfast

Banana (food for workout)

Breakfast

2 egg omelet w/ mushrooms, onions, peppers, spinach and pepper jack cheese (about 2 tablespoons)

1/2 serving of triscuits

Snack

Yogurt Covered Raisins

Lunch

Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich (no pickles)

side salad, w/ croutons and honey mustard

Snack

Almonds/Walnuts 100 cal pack

Dinner

orange glazed salmon

wilted spinach w/ onions, mushrooms, peppers and garlic

Tons of water, well over 64 oz. (Totally have to rehydrate after BodyBack -- I sweat so badly that the sweat actually gets in my eyes and makes them sting!)

Cheek Bones

So, this morning I woke up and an old friend greeted me in the mirror... it was my cheek bones! Hadn't seen those in a while. Welcome back old friend! Now I look more like my mother again... that's a good thing... if you know her, you know she's beautiful and to look anything like her is a very happy thought. It is frustrating, but wonderful all at the same time, that I show my weight loss in my face before it really shows anywhere else. I feel it elsewhere, like in the pants I need to give away. But people don't notice those areas as much, they notice my face. I can't wait to run into someone (anyone) and have them notice! Today was the first day that I noticed my face has changed. I saw my collarbones in a mirror while at a party 2 weeks ago... it was the motivation to push me past my temptation of eating King Cake. I'm so ready to see a big change, but I know the little changes have to happen first.

My calf injury is REALLY getting on my nerves. Today I felt very weak in class. I cannot do anything above low impact right now without a lot of pain. Hoping to join AmFamFit this week, and take some water aerobics classes to help! More ice and rest this weekend... this is NOT happiness. It's going to be gorgeous today and tomorrow, and I'd LOVE to get a game of tennis in with my husband! We've not done that in ages and it would be such a treat. I actually think I'm going to schedule a babysitter on Matt's mornings off (Every other Friday) so that we can go play tennis. That is something we both really enjoyed when we were dating and first married and we just don't have time for it now! That has to change. -- Just realized I called tennis a TREAT! HA! That is PROOF of things changing -- treats used to be food related! Now a treat is a facial, a game of tennis, joining the pool, a pedicure etc. I love how the mind is changing WITH the changes I am making. Awesome!

I am hungry this morning, but I know if I put food in right now, I will be puking... I may not have been fast today or been able to do everything everyone else did, but I DID push it, and thus my tummy is not thrilled... LOL that just cracks me up how I have to wait a few hours after class before I can eat. It's a good thing I grab a banana for the road before class!

I'm enjoying carpooling with one of my classmates. She's an inspiration in more ways than on, not just on the class front, but also on the home front! Kay Rocks!

Now, if only my leg wasn't giving me a fit, I'd love to go DANCING this weekend... the music we play in class makes me want to get my groove on... I think we should have a class where we just dance the whole time... Maybe I should buy the treehouse a disco ball... I think it is needed! ;)

Have a wonderful Thursday... oh and

GO RAMS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in case you missed it, My VCU Rams advanced to the bracket last night!!! They were the underdogs to USC and they brought their A game (despite some very invalid fouls called by the refs) and won 59-46! BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW... We are in the BIG DANCE!!! Now, who has my plane ticket to Chicago?

Food Journal

Breakfast

Eng muffin

Msf sausage

Cheese

Snack

Yogurt raisins

Lunch

Turkey wrap with yellow peppers, spinach, romaine and Swiss

Fruit salad

Carrots with hummus

Snack

Triscuits teaspoon of nutella

Dinner

Leftover spaghetti

All my water

Food Journal

Today was a weird day because I spent a lot of the day icing my leg... so I definitely did not feel up to cooking and standing in my kitchen. I did, however, make good choices! It was also a "face temptation" day! My daughter's school had a fundraiser at Carvel -- the ice cream shop. Yes, I went, I wanted the kids to help out the school. My husband went as well. Each child got their own junior cup of ice cream, Cait got a tiny cup of soft serve. My husband got something that looked delicious! I fed Caity her ice cream and sat with Matt and Mia... Maegan, Wils and my nephew, Dawson, sat at the window bar. Mia had cotton candy ice cream... bright pink w/ sprinkles. She was finished with it pretty quickly, and there was over 1/2 of the cup left. So, I picked up the spoon, and put a little of the ice cream on the spoon... when I say little, imagine one of those sample spoons and not even putting enough on the sample spoon to fill out the spoon... I tasted it, one lick, and thought, OMG that is disgustingly sweet! I pushed the ice cream to my husband and he polished it off. Then I said, "Take me to Tokyo Sushi!"

So here is the journal for today, my third Tuesday of Body Back:

Breakfast

Poached Egg on multigrain high fiber english muffin w/ spinach and cheese

Snack

Yogurt Raisins

Lunch

1/2 cup of left over spaghetti w/ amped up veggie tomato sauces (I added peppers onions and mushrooms)

salad (spinach, romaine, iceburg, cabbage, carrots)

Caesar Vinaigrette

Snack

Triscuits w/ shredded pepper jack cheese melted on top

Dinner

Spicy Shrimp Roll (shared w/ hubby)

California Roll (these rolls are smaller than the ones you get in the grocery stores)

salad w/ ginger dressing (on the side and I dipped my fork in the dressing and then picked up my salad, rather than pouring the dressing over the salad, I had about 85% of the salad dressing left after I ate!)

All of my water!

Great choices for an off day! I'm ready for a fish day, but that has to wait until Thursday as tomorrow is church, so we are eating leftover spaghetti! (One batch of spaghetti goes A LONG WAY when you eat the correct serving size, even in a family of six!) Tomorrow the kids are off from school, so it may be a chick fil a day... but I got that, NO WORRIES! :D The kids even eat fruit rather than fries. They are not complaining about this "healthy eating" change that we've made. I've always tried to feed them healthy foods most of the time, so really it's been more of a change for me than for them, as I was the one who was not eating properly!

Resting the leg for the rest of the week. I will be doing body back on Thursday, but keeping things low impact because of my calf. I'm pretty mad about it, as I was really hoping to get some walks in with this gorgeous weather coming up on Thursday and Friday! Walking doesn't seem to bother it, mainly standing up from a seated position or jumping or sideways movements bother it. I'll be focusing on abs this week, for certain! Going to try to balance on my "sits bones" (don't know if I spelled that right) and do some oblique work... I don't want no muffin top! ;)

Say What!?!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD Morning Y'all!

Yes, I know it is only 7:15 in the morning, but I've been up since 4:45, so my energy level is on the high side right now!

Made it to body back this morning, and had a wonderful reward for my attendance! I stepped on the scale and it read: 283.0 -- for those keeping track, I am down FIVE POUNDS!!!!! I love seeing the scale going dooooooown! What an awesome reward for my hard work! I know that we aren't supposed to be proud... SO, I'll give the glory to God... who gives me STRENGTH! He's been pouring it on!

I'm still struggling through workouts and nursing my very annoying calf muscle that has decided to be a thorn in my side! I'll be icing that bad boy as soon as I get these kids off to school.

So, the workout today... MERCY! I need Mercy... well, at least, I think I do, but then the next thing I know, I have made it through the entire class -- STILL Breathing, Still moving, ROCKSTAR!!! There are still things I can't do, but then there are things I'm starting to do better and better. Today we had to do side shuffles, but the stupid calf muscle was giving me grief, so I ended up jogging -- OUTSIDE! In SHORT SLEEVES! I truly thought I would puke once we came inside and had to go straight into planks. My abs were screaming by the end of class, but we were doing Superman Bananas, and I have GOT to teach that to my kids. They will think that is the most fun EVER! Today, my legs, shoulders, behind and abs are feeling the workout!

I SO wish I still had my gym membership, I'd be packing the girls up here in an hour and heading to my favorite water aerobics class! That would feel so good on my sore calf! I am really hoping that I can workout a good deal on a membership and get back into my gym routine! I miss it and I know it would only aide in my journey and further my progress!

Well, I must take my oldest child to school now, so I'll end here. Stay tuned for the food journal later this evening! HAPPY TUESDAY! Make it a wonderful day and keep smiling!

***Please Pray for those in Japan!***

Uneventful Monday

Nothing much to report today. Just a quiet day at home doing laundry and dishes and cooking dinner, so we will go straight to the food journal! Oh one exciting thing is that I think I found a jogging stroller, new in box for $100 -- not sure of the brand, hoping to hear something soon (Craigslist).

Breakfast

English Muffin (high fiber/multigrain)

MSF Veggie Patty

Cheese

1/2 serving Yogurt Raisins

Lunch

Whole Wheat Tortilla

1 cup of raw baby spinach

2 slices of Nature's Promise hickory smoked turkey

Fruit salad (1/2 banana, 3 sliced strawberries, handful of blueberries)

Snack

String Cheese

1/2 serving Yogurt Raisins

Dinner

1/2 cup cooked whole wheat spaghetti (Nature's Promise)

1/2 cup Nature's Promise Garden Veggie Spaghetti sauce

added in 1/2 a yellow pepper, some slices of onion and 1/4 cup of sliced mushrooms (sauted in olive oil)

topped w/ 1 tbsp parmesan

Salad w/ Raw baby spinach, romaine, cabbage, carrots and iceburg, topped with Caesar

Vinaigrette and feta cheese

Snack

Cocoa Roasted Almonds

8 powerberries covered in dark chocolate (Trader Joes)

It's Sunday night and I feel Alright!

What a GLORIOUS Sunday! WOW! Could not have asked for more beautiful weather. The older kids went to church with Daddy while I stayed home with the two recovering from the stomach bug. When they got home, Daddy took the three oldest out to lunch and to the park while Baby Cait slept. When she woke up, I decided she and I needed to get out TOO! So we went on a 2.5 mile walk through our neighborhood. I had no idea that's how far we went, until I had Matt track the mileage with his car. As we were rounding the corner for home, my cell phone rang and it was Matt asking where we were, and I said, "I'm actually watching you right now." He turned and found me and then said, "Wait there, I'll pick you up." I replied, "NO, you wait there and I'll meet you!" (I didn't want to quit my walk early!) Off to Gammy and PopPop's house we went.

I walked into the house and Gammy was making chocolate dipped strawberries. She had blueberries and strawberries laid out on paper towels on the counter. I looked at her and said, "it is snack time mom, I have to eat NOW. Can I have some fruit?" She let me have at it and I made a delicious fruit salad w/ her fresh berries and a banana. She was making goodies to take to a neighborhood dinner. She said, I'll leave a chocolate dipped strawberry for you. I said, "No thanks!" (GO me!)

While there, we watched Selection Sunday. My throat is KILLING ME now, because I screamed like a banshee when my VCU RAMS were selected for a seed in the Big Dance. We jumped around and screamed and high fived, and made Caity cry. (Whoopsy) Too bad their game is in Illinois and not in DC or Charlotte! Bummer!

I challenged my sister and Matt to some sit ups. My sis was able to do one, and Matt was able to do many, but they put strain on his lower back, so he had to stop (he has a bad lower back, and thankfully has only had to have a shot to help it, where many have to have surgery). I did ten before I dropped. We also planked and tried some push ups, but my shoulders are still fussin from Thursday, so my attempts were futile! I also attempted a side plank. I've got to work on my balance!

I am looking into getting a new jogging stroller, just a single this time... that umbrella stroller was NOT my friend on the walk, and I feel as though it limited my speed. Craigslist here I come!

Now I am closing up the computer and heading to Martins for a quick grocery trip. Gotta get my essentials for the week! I'm fresh out of eggs, bread and produce!

Food Journal today is not so great. I just didn't eat much. Wasn't really hungry and stayed relatively busy all day.

Breakfast
English Muffin
Veggie Sausage Patty
Cheese

Snack
Yogurt Raisins
Cocoa Roasted Almonds

Lunch
sauted mushrooms onions spinach and garlic
black beans
whole wheat tortilla
2 triscuits

Snack
fruit salad

Dinner
a sip of "clear soup" (From Tokyo Sushi)
3 pieces of a Spicy Crunchy Shrimp Roll

I drank all of my water today plus some!

Wedding Food Can Fit into the new Lifestyle!

Hello friends, supporters, encouragers, et. al! I hope you are all having a lovely weekend! This morning sure started out chilly, but then turned into a gorgeous afternoon. I missed the majority of the gorgeous weather, because I was at the wedding of a childhood friend. My father had RSVP'd to the wedding, only to find out that he was called into work for the weekend. So my mom was going it solo. I called her last night and asked if she minded if I tagged along, that I really wanted to see this friend get married. My brother was in the wedding. Luckily, my mom had been thinking the same thing and was going to ask me to be her date! So, we went and had a wonderful time with old friends. Seeing one old friend even made me cry, he was my best bud in High School and since we graduated we've hardly seen each other. This guy and I were attached at the hip, best friends, almost like brother and sister. He was my brother's best friend along with the groom at the wedding. Anyway, I had no idea he'd be there today and was thrilled to see him! We had some great laughs over the old days and the silliness that we got into with "the crew" (that's what we called our little group of friends). Fantastic way to spend an afternoon!

This morning when I got up, I decided that since my leg was still having issues, I'd work on something that didn't involve my leg. I decided to try something that since day 1 of Body Back, I've not been able to do... not even 1 little one... I decided I would try doing a full sit up. I tried what Rachel said this past week... Starting from a seated position, go down, then back up -- Hold the bus! I did one! I was so shocked I tried again -- I did TWO! in fact, I did six in a row. WHAT?!? Are you kidding me? I took a rest at that point as the abs were talking back. But then I went back to it, and I did six more! They weren't pretty, but I'll take 'em!!! I was and am extremely proud of that accomplishment. It may not seem like much to some, but to ME, it was HUGE! I also worked on planks -- still having trouble with those... but it will come. I was doing full planks on my hands, not on the elbows. I am determined to be able to hold a full plank for at least 1 minute in the next two weeks. It's just something I want to accomplish!

Another little thing that I did today, not something I would have EVER thought about doing before, was racing my son from the porch to the car. LOL He was giggling the whole time. When we returned home, he didn't wait for me to race him... I was kind of disappointed, if I tell the truth.

Now, like I said, I went to a wedding. Usually, you know well in advance of going to a wedding. I knew only as of last night that I'd be going. I was a little nervous about attending the reception. I didn't know if I was ready to face wedding food. I wasn't sure I would be able to pass up the "goodies" -- However, I feel that I did quite well! I filled my plate with shrimp and cocktail sauce, crackers and cheese, spanikopita, a mini quiche, and peanuts. I gave my mom the mini quiche, and I threw the crackers away eating only 1/2 of one of them. I passed up my favorite mints.. those little cream cheese mints. I eyed them a few times, and even started to get one when I was fixing my plate. But then, I stopped and I thought... you know I REALLY want to taste the cake, and if I eat the mint, I will feel guilty! So, I decided, it wasn't worth the guilt. And about that cake. Mom and I decided we would share a piece. When we got to the table, the cake was nearly gone, so we just asked for 1/2 of a slice and we each took two bites of cake. It was all that we needed. Neither of us left feeling stuffed nor were we hungry, just satisfied.

So, here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:
Breakfast burrito: 2 egg whites, mushrooms, onions, red peppers, chili powder and garlic, raw baby spinach, salsa and a whole wheat tortilla
1/2 a serving of yogurt raisins

Snack:
fruit salad (banana, strawberries, blueberries)
carrots and a 2 teaspoons of hummus

Wedding Food (aka Lunch):
12 steamed shrimp (w/ cocktail sauce)
1 spanikopita triangle
15 cocktail peanuts
6 small cubes of cheese (pepper jack, colby jack, cheddar)
1/2 of a cracker
2 bites of cake

Dinner:
Black Beans
Brown Rice
Salsa
a teaspoon of plain greek yogurt (used as sour cream)
onions
4 power berries (covered in dark chocolate)

Friday

Gave my leg a little rest today. Still having some pressure issues with certain ways I step or get up from a seated position. Showed my kids and sister the backwards crab walk move. To which my kids promptly took it upon themselves to show me how "easy" it is. I did not have the heart to tell them that I have a whole lot more weight to bear than they do! Instead, I praised their efforts.

When Wils saw my breakfast this morning, he said, "hey, I want that." referring to my fruit salad. I promised to make him one for lunch. Then at dinner, I decided they should try tilapia. I did not bother telling them what was on their plate. Low and behold they all ate it. Maegan said," I ate all of my chicken! It was great!" I kept my secret and smiled. I am blessed to have good eaters... They don't often complain about the food on their plates.

After dinner, the kids took to showing us their athletic abilities. Maegan wowed us with bridges, handstands and yoga poses. Mia tumbled. Wils flexed his muscles and worked on bridges and crab walks. Maegan showed us perfect form planks and push ups. She makes me proud. I asked if she and Wils could do sit-ups, neither could... I don't feel so bad! Of course Wils does all of this with no shirt on. We can count every rib and vertebrae... If I hadn't carried him for nine months and he didn't look like my father, I would seriously wonder if he was mine!

Ok here is my food journal:

Breakfast

English muffin

MSF sausage patty

Swiss cheese

Fruit salad (blueberries, sliced banana and strawberries)

Dark chocolate covered power berries

Snack

Carrots and white bean hummus

1 Triscuit

Lunch

Turkey wrap with spinach and sun dried tomato basil hummus on whole wheat tortilla

Snack

Cocoa roasted almonds

Dinner

Tilapia on a bed of spinach and mushrooms

Baked sweet potato

Salad with feta and vinaigrette

Thursday Food

Pre-workout

1/2 banana

Breakfast

Poached egg

Baby spinach

High fiber English muffin

Snack

Walnuts and almonds

6 power berries

Lunch

Spring roll (fresh rice paper roll)

1/2 California roll

Snack

Shrimp

Cocktail sauce

Dinner

Shrimp fajitas with mushrooms, onions, red pepper, raw baby spinach, Shrimp, whole wheat tortillas, garlic and fresh salsa

OH My Aches and Pains

Today kicked my bootay! At one point, I nearly threw up (thanks crab walk).I even got rug burn on my pinky fingers! (Ouch) And I have my first injury, but worked through it... Not sure what exactly it is, as it is a pain I haven't felt before. The pain runs up the outside of my left calf, and hurts when jumping jacks or climbing stairs. It's almost like knife going in my leg at that point... so, to put it plainly, it hurts. (Gonna ask my mom in law for exercises to fix it -- she's a physical therapist assistant, boy am I blessed! -- and she's a big supporter for me!)

There is not a part of my body that doesn't hurt, other than my face. I'm not complaining. As Kim put it this morning, the hurting just means I'm getting stronger! WOOHOO! My arms were literally shaking this morning, and my thighs were begging for mercy! BUT, the strangest thing, my lower abs AGAIN were burning as though we worked them the whole class... I think that means I am doing something right.

I have to give mad props to the gorgeous man in my life! My precious husband stayed up ALL NIGHT with a sick little cranky Mia... because he knew I needed to make it to my class this morning. I OWE that man so much! I can't thank him enough for supporting me so fully on this journey! He even popped into the room at 4:45 this morning and whispered, "Honey? It's quarter to 5, I just didn't want you to oversleep." -- my alarm went off about 2 minutes later... but that he thought about me and was encouraging me after not sleeping all night meant the world to me. I love that Man!

Another interesting thing came about during class this morning. I happened to wear my Congenital Heart Walk t-shirt that I earned last year at the Congenital Heart Walk of Greater DC. One of my classmates asked me about it. I love an opportunity to share about Congenital Heart Defects and the Children's Heart Foundation!!! It turns out, she's being seen tomorrow for possible congenital heart defects -- ADULT DETECTION -- missed all of her childhood! (This should NEVER happen!) So much work is left to be done!!!

When I got home this morning, Maegan asked about my shirt and asked if we will be doing the Congenital Heart Walk again this year... and my reply is YES, two times, in fact! May 22 we will walk at American University in DC and then November 19 we will walk at Richmond International Raceway in Richmond! I would LOVE to have people join my team and help me raise awareness and raise money to help fund research for the #1 birth defect! JUST ASK ME HOW!!! (I'm actually helping to plan the Richmond walk and looking for committee members, so if you want to be involved on that level... let me know!) My goal is $1000 for the May 22 walk, so far I've raised $25... If you want to donate, go here! It would mean so much to me to have your support! The walk is 1.2 miles and is family friendly. It is such a great time and we meet such amazingly beautiful people who have been touch by Congenital Heart Disease.

Today is an exciting day for little Cait... she has her Cardiologist appointment with Dr. McQuilken. We are hoping to see that her issues have resolved on their own. This would be such great news! I think if her PDA is still open, then she will have to come back again in a year... but not sure on that. If it is still open, I may get a second opinion to make sure there is nothing we need to do. With her VSD, there really is nothing to do, as long as it does not get bigger! I'm excited to look at her sweet heart on ECHO today. I love to see God's creation at work... that beating heart is AMAZING!!!

I am so NOT wanting to eat breakfast this morning. That workout killed my appetite. I had half a banana before class... I know I need more to eat. Maybe I'll be hungry after I take Wils to school.

I'll update with a food journal before bedtime!

Sleepy Time

Today was a ROUGH day! Caity woke up on this, her first birthday, with a fever. She didn't want to do anything but have mommy hold her. Mia was cranky and complaining of her tummy hurting. We picked up Wils from school and proceeded to go pick up lunch (Chick Fil A) -- only we never made it. Cait puked in her car seat. Flew home, took Cait and her car seat straight to the bathroom. Bathed her and held her until she fell asleep.

Matt picked up Wils and Mia and took them out for lunch, since I was busy with Cait. Once they returned, I knew Mia was not well. It took about an hour before she finally got it out... and she won't puke in a potty -- so I got to hold a bucket. FUN!

Meanwhile, I was feeling frumpy and dumpy today. I went online and posted to my Body Back ladies, who encouraged me to either get outside or exercise. While the kids were out with Matt, I did a short little stint on the Wii Fit (even though I REALLY wanted a sonic Cherry Limeade and pint of Ben & Jerry's) -- then I folded clothes. I felt a little better.

After Mia's episode, she was screaming, Cait was fussy, and I was near the end of my rope. Poor Wils was being so sweet and trying to talk to me and I was just getting so frustrated. I looked at him and apologized to him for me being so grumpy. He's such a good kid. Maegan was at school and then at the church Wednesday afterschool program... so she missed all the excitement, which is a GOOD thing. I called Matt at 5 and said, I NEED YOU to come home. He got here after 6 (normal)... by then Cait and Mia had both fallen asleep. Mia woke up when he got here and I said, SEE YA! I had to go pick up Maegan, but first I had to get to the grocery store -- the kids are out of waffles and well, that is just not a good thing in this house! I went for veggies, fruit and waffles, but ended up with a ton of seafood in addition -- I'm addicted. I ended up buying 3 bags of spinach because I'm finding I eat it for almost every meal! Cooked in eggs for breakfast, cooked w/ garlic for dinner and shoved in the middle of my sandwich for lunch -- it adds LOADS of crunch! YUM! After groceries, I finally got to Chick Fil A -- and I made excellent choices... when I could have easily given in to temptation and gotten a milkshake! (insert happy dance here... I resisted temptation on a very emotional and stressful day!)

So, here is my food journal for today:

Breakfast (was VERY hungry this morning when I woke up)
2 egg whites
onion
mushroom
red bell pepper
garlic
english muffin (high fiber/multigrain)
MSF veggie sausage

snack
mango
walnuts & almonds

Lunch
flatbread spread w/ sundried tomato basil hummus, turkey, swiss and spinach

snack
8 powerberries covered in dark chocolate

Dinner
ChickfilA Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich (no pickles)
side salad, croutons (1/2 the package), ff honey mustard (1/2 the package)

8 glasses of water (plus more)

Now SLEEP, because 4:45 comes EARLY!!!

Food for Monday

Pre-Workout
Banana

Breakfast
High Fiber English Muffin
MSF Veggie Sausage
Cheese

Snack
White Bean Hummus and Carrots
8 Dark Chocolate covered Powerberries (Trader Joes)

Lunch
Whole Wheat Flatbread, sundried tomato and basil hummus, turkey and spinach (as a sandwich)

Snack
triscuits and veggie yogurt cheese

Dinner
Baked/Broiled Balsamic marinated Salmon
over ramen noodles, wilted spinach and garlic
broccoli sprinkled with parmesan

Over 8 glasses of water.

Hotcha

Yes, I have They Might Be Giants on the brain... not sure why! Got up on time, and to my class on time! Woohoo! 3 times in a row now, I've made it to the class on time. I need to keep up that streak.

I am for SURE feeling it today! Of course, I screwed myself a bit by doing BB video last night, and then having class this morning... the shoulders and hammies and glutes are feeling it. My knees are a little achey (that's new, and I'm not liking it, because I think it means I'm getting older) -- However, I feel fantastic! My mood is so happy and joyful. My mornings are brighter when I get up and workout early. It helps that the beautiful sunshine is out this morning!

Down 2 lbs this week (probably a tad bit more though, because I had on some extra clothes this week) -- I'm taking my two pounds and smiling about it, because even with only 2 lbs off, I have pants that are already not fitting, so that means things are changing!!! Love it!

I got to show myself and everyone that I can in fact do JUMPING JACKS! Granted, I didn't do as many as I would have liked, I DID them! :D Go Me!

Today was filled with squats and push ups, planks, slogging (slooooooooooow jogging), lunges, etc. Nothing that I loathed, that's for sure... but nothing that I excelled at (until the treehouse gets a pool, I can't really show where I am strongest... because that would be in the pool). I am DETERMINED to be able to hold a plank for a minute. Who knew that could be so tough!?! I'll be working on planks at home this week, to prove it to myself that I can in fact put mind over matter and accomplish the side plank.

You know, while working out today, the muscles that talked back the most... were my lower abs -- right where the c/sections occurred (4 c/s in 6.5 years) -- It was awesome to feel them working and burning. I can't wait to see the results in a few weeks. A flatter stomach will surely feel nicer under clothes. The rounded pooch of a belly that is there now, is extremely unattractive and really gets in the way of doing things, such as sit ups!

I had my pre-workout banana while on the way to the Treehouse. I figure I'll fix some breakfast here in a bit. This week is a big week, the baby is turning 1! I have to do lots of planning so I can enjoy a slice of Kalico Kitchen cake on Saturday. I've already planned that any leftover cake will be sliced and taken to my mom's house to be frozen and used as dessert on Easter at Grandma's house. Keeping the menu for the party pretty simple, Whole Wheat rolls, turkey, sliced cheese, veggie tray, goldfish for the little kids, chex mix for the adults and Kalico Kitchen Cake... we will do a candy bar (the kind where you have candy and you fill a bag) for the favors -- that way, ALL CANDY will leave my house! Though I've not been tempted by the candy.

I am having a HUGE craving for a Reeses Peanut Butter Egg. I've decided that when the craving gets overwhelming, I'll just buy a single egg -- and savor it, rather than doing what I normally do... buying the bag of the mini eggs and freezing them and eating them whenever. Granted, I'll freeze that egg before I savor it... LOL (which is dangerous, because if the husband or a child finds it, they may eat it before I do!) All in all, the craving hasn't been overwhelming yet, and I'm hoping it remains that way!

Gotta keep up my motivation this week. Warmer weather makes me want to be more active, so I am really hoping we get some warmer days SOON! I turn into a slug in cold weather. I need your help this week in keeping everything going! If you want to get together and walk or whatever, let me know! I CAN DO THIS!

Monday Monday

Breakfast:
2 egg white omelet with onions, red pepper, spinach and garlic and parmesan
high fiber english muffin

Lunch:
whole wheat flat bread, spread w/ 1 tbsp of sundried tomato basil humus, 2 oz shaved turkey, 1 cup of baby spinach

Snack:
Mango, walnuts & Almonds (100 calorie pack, Emerald)

Dinner:
Turkey burger on a bed of garlic wilted baby spinach, topped with garlic onion and mushrooms and a slice of swiss cheese
steamed broccoli sprinkled with parmesan

Snack:
1/2 Whole Wheat tortilla
nutella
sliced strawberries

It's been a good day, despite the stomach bug hitting my son in the middle of the night. I did oversleep this morning, which made Maegs late for school. We were just worn out after the middle of the night barf-o-rama! Had a fun day with the kids, just hanging out at the house and taking lots of pictures. Then the kids got to play outside... I wanted to play out there with them, but the baby was sleeping and I had onions caramelizing on the stove top, so I watched them as they ran around so happy to be outside in the sunshine. They did not even care that it was cold out there! I just finished work, and now I'm going to put one sweet baby girl to bed! In 2 days she will be ONE! I cannot believe my baby is nearly a year old.

After she goes down for the night, then it is time for a workout for me! And then BED TIME -- 4:45 comes EARLY and I do not want to oversleep like I did today!

Night night, sleep tight, don't let any buggies bite!!!

Sunday food journal

Breakfast:

Omelet- 2 egg whites, mushrooms, spinach, garlic and Parmesan

Snack:

Almonds/walnuts and mango

Lunch:

Tastefully simple tasting party

11 tortillas with assorted dips (less than 2 tbsp of dips)

10 cubes of beer bread with assorted dips,(less than 2 tbsp)

Small cube of apple cake

Loads of carrots and red peppers

Taste of key lime cheese ball on a piece of twisty Graham

Snack:none

Dinner:

Whole wheat spaghetti noodles (1/2 cup) with very veggie tomato sauce with ground chicken

Over 96 ounces of water

Saturday food journal entries

Over 8 glasses of water!

Breakfast

High fiber English muffin

cheese

MsfSausage patty

Banana

Snack

1/2 tortilla

1tbsp nutella

Sliced strawberries

Lunch

Salad

Feta

Vinaigrette

Snack

Nuts and mango

Dinner

1hush puppy

1 1/2cups shrimp/crawfish ettouffee with brown rice

Busy Weekend

Sorry for the lack of blogging yesterday... I will put up 3 food journals this evening. (Saturday, Sunday, Monday) -- had an extremely busy Sunday, and chose to workout rather than blog last night. I had typed out my food journal and tried to send it using the Monarch App, and it did not work.
GOTTA GO, more later!

Jumpin Jack Flash

Guess who just did jumping jacks?!? Me! And other than the girls escaping their holster, it was a success, and I did many in a row (albeit with my arms firmly folded against the revolting masses attempting escape)!!! Thank God! I was really upset about not being able to do one the other day, I had to redeem myself! My husband was here to witness the event! I can do jumping jacks, I can, I can! I think I may do more, just because I can... Can we say BREAKTHRU Moment!?!? Oh thank you legs for working! I never want to not be able to do them again!

This has been a wonderful Saturday! Little successes build confidence in big ways!

Aye!!!

WOW! What a workout. I loved it, because I LOVE to dance... and this way I can dance in my living room and my kids want to do it WITH me! Even the baby was shaking her shoulders! What was I doing??? Latin Fusion Workout... HOLY SMOKES, that smoked me! 40 minutes of straight dancing, my hips may need replacing much sooner in life... but it's all good because it was FUN! And I could get as jiggy as I wanted... and no one but family could see the jiggle in my jiggy! wOOtwOOt! Aye!!! Now I feel like I need a trip to Mexico! I highly HIGHLY encourage anyone who loves to dance, to try Latin Fusion, Zumba, whatever... just do it! Had no idea what I was missing out on!

I literally sat down to type this as soon as I finished, because I was so excited. I'm sweating like a little piggy. I think I may put the baby into the stroller and head out for a walk for 20 more minutes of cardio. The family is at Shoney's breakfast buffet now... and I chose not to join them. Just not ready for that yet. I had a delicious breakfast here and I have two parties to contend with this weekend, so I don't want to push myself too much!

Tonight I have a mardi gras party to go to. There will be King Cake from NOLA -- I actually think I can pass it up. I've had king cake before, even one from NOLA, so I think it is something I can say no to. In fact, I'm not worried about tonight's party at all. I'm much more concerned about my Tastefully Simple party tomorrow. My sister and I have to make all of the food tonight. I'm trying to make better choices, ie: fixing the dips with yogurt (greek style, plain) and serving veggies as dippers. The beer bread is difficult for me as are the cheese dips. I just need to keep BUSY so I won't feel the need to be snacking. And I will eat my regular meals, so I won't feel hungry. I will also have a hospital cup of water near me the entire time. I'm sure I can do this... I just have to plan well and remind myself that cheating only cheats me! No one else gets those calories! And I must make sure to workout at some point tomorrow.

Carry on with your beautiful Saturday, and I will post my food journal for the day, tonight after the party! Happy Weekend!!! DO something FUN!

Friday

Not much to report today. Had my first trip to Whole Foods. What a great store! I'd say best fish counter in Richmond. About to do a work out... Probably 30 minutes tonight.

Here is my food journal for today:

Breakfast-

Poached egg

Spinach

Cheese

English muffin (high fiber)

Snack-

Yogurt raisins

Lunch-

Crunchy spicy shrimp roll with brown rice

Blueberries

Snack-

Triscuits and veggie yogurt cheese

Dinner-

Whole wheat spaghetti

Wilted spinach,mushrooms and garlic

Feta cheese

Salad with Parmesan and Caesar vinaigrette

Over eight glasses of water for the day.

Food Journal Entry

Had a success today, actually went to Wils' Art Show, and passed up the refreshments except for a glass of water!

Pre-workout

Banana

Breakfast

Multigrain, high fiber English muffin

Morning Star Farms Sausage Patty

1/2 slice of cheese

Snack

Yogurt raisins

Lunch

2 cups salad

Feta cheese

Caesar vinaigrette

Snack

Triscuits and veggie yogurt cheese

Dinner

Tilapia

Plain baked sweet potato

March 3 -- Day 3

Here we are at day 3. I was up and out of the house on time. Arrived a few moments early for class. Today we went over goals.
My Three Goals:
To lose SOME weight. I don't care how much, I just want to see the scale going down!
To gain energy!
To gain confidence!

Why this is important: I have four children who need me to be there for them and I need to be a role model for them.

Obstacles:
Negative attitude (myself and others)
Lack of organization

Actions to accomplish goals:
Attend my class
Engage in POSITIVE talking/thinking
Work on organization a little each day in all different areas of my life

Yup, today, I cried. Embarrassing -- but thinking about why it is important, really got to me. I want to be a positive healthy role model for my children, and I am anything but that at this point. That is so unfair to these precious little ones! I also want to BE HERE for my babies. With Serena Williams suffering a pulmonary embolism yesterday and she is in the best shape of her life... it made me realize, I'm a ticking time bomb, by NOT being in good shape. These things can happen to anyone at anytime, but because she is in such great physical condition, she is more able to have a full recovery. Would my body be able to fight back so well? I doubt it.

The workout today was only 1/2 an hour and it went by REALLY fast... but it was a painful reminder of just how far I need to go... I couldn't even do one jumping jack! First of all, my sports bra is NOT the right one... one jump and I thought the girls were gonna give me black eyes! Secondly, after squats on Tuesday, my thighs fought against me with every ounce of their being. Thirdly, WHERE did my coordination go? So, that was pretty much a FRIGHTENING and VERY SICKENINGLY embarrassing part of the workout. Then we did something else, I can't even remember (Mental Black Out maybe???) -- then sprints and more jumping (jumping squats even) and after that, we had to do SPIDERMAN PUSH UPS... WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST?!? Literally, we had to go from one end of the room to the other doing pushups/crawls the likes of spiderman scaling a building. Let's just say, I felt sorry for anyone who had to see the back of me during this exercise. This is one of THE hardest things I've ever done in my life. I felt so badly for the rest of the girls, because I was DEFINITELY holding everyone back, because I am THAT slow! It wasn't pretty, but I made it with the help and encouragement of all the girls! <3 Couldn't do it with out them! After that we did an interval segment ... MORE LEG and core work. My legs are truly angry with me -- to that I say, SUCK IT UP and get stronger so it won't hurt so bad! After a wonderful cool down and stretch, I didn't think I could get up off that floor, but I did. And I got to my car, and I drove home.

Driving home I got emotional all over again. This is VERY VERY VERY hard for me. This is PAINFULLY embarrassing for me. It is amazing the lies I have told myself over the years, about how I didn't really look "that" bad, I wasn't "that" out of shape. WOW, I really deceived myself. I bought into those lies.

You know, I'm gonna throw it out there, balls to the wall -- I'm doing this, so I'm gonna be completely honest. 288 lbs -- THAT is my starting point. (Tears are falling, admitting this to all of you.) HOLY CRAP, WHO allows themselves to get to that point??? Is food REALLY worth that number??? Believe it or not, that is NOT my biggest point -- but it was my starting point for this journey. It makes me sick to even look at that number and what I have let myself become. Horrible. God gave me this body, amazingly made, amazingly knit together, and I've ruined it! It was a gift HE gave me, and I have not cared for it or treated it with the respect it deserves. I feel like saying, "Hey, Holy Spirit, are you able to breathe in there??? HELP ME FIX THIS!!!" I want to be able to quote the Virginia Slims ad from when I was younger, "You've come a long way, Baby!" when I finish my first 8 weeks. A side goal I have in all of this, is that in 8 weeks, I can take the pants I wore the first week, and instead of wearing them in the picture, HOLD THEM UP BESIDE ME and say... LOOK WHERE I CAME FROM and LOOK WHERE I AM NOW!

I have a long way to go, but I have a wonderful group of ladies who are pushing me and encouraging me a long the way. I am blessed.

Now, I need to make breakfast. I thought I was going to throw up when I got home, but now that the insides are settled, I'm ready to eat.

March 2 -- Food Entry

I was so sore on Day 2 that I really just did not even exercise, I could scarcely walk up and down the stairs holding Caitylady! BUT, I did make sure to eat well all day. I got in all 8 glasses of water!

Breakfast:
High Fiber Multigrain Eng. Muffin
Poached Egg
Spinach
1/2 a slice of cheese

Snack:
Honey roasted Sunflower seeds
Banana

Lunch:
Chick fil A Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich (with lettuce and tomato)
Side Salad with 1/2 the pack of croutons and 1/2 pouch of FF Honey Mustard dressing

No afternoon snack (too full)

Dinner:
Mushrooms, asparagus, spinach, chicken and cheese quesadilla (F I L L I N G, nearly 2 cups of veggies in the quesadilla)

After dinner snack:
Emerald Nuts cocoa roasted almonds

All in all, this is a menu I could eat every single day, it was DELICIOUS and filling, I was not hungry at ALL throughout the day (which is the point, keep blood sugar at a constant level so there are no crashes and the metabolism continues to burn)

Quickly, before I fall asleep

Had a WONDERFUL nutrition day!
Spinach and mushroom omelet
Banana
mini luna bar (80 cal)
cocoa roasted almonds (100 cal pack)
yogurt raisins (the really small box for kids)
Whole Wheat Flatbread
1 tsp hummus
1/2 cup raw spinach
2 slices of turkey
1 slice of swiss
salad with feta and caesar dressing
salmon and asparagus
All of my water!

I'd say, that's a great day!

Day 1 -- I SURVIVED

WOW, that was a painful dose of reality. I am completely out of shape. I was basically a lump compared to everyone else in the class. Many of my classmates have attended previously. They were very supportive and encouraging.

OK so, do I post the weight or not? I don't know.
Inches: I've already forgotten... good thing they are written down! (but the paper stays at the treehouse)
SO, fitness assessment was pitiful! I want to cry just thinking about how horribly I did. I know part of it is due to my lowered ability to breathe (bronchitis is lingering), but most of it is due to my lack of training in the past 5 years. ZERO sit ups. ZERO push ups (we weren't allowed to do girlie style). 27 squats (my favorite, but killed my legs for the run). 27 bicep curls. Held my plank for 16 seconds (probably could have gone longer, but breathing was an issue). Held my side bridge for 10 seconds -- stupid me, I did it on my LEFT, should have gone on my right as it is my stronger side!
THEN came the run. 1/2 a mile -- outside. I have not run in YEARS -- by years I mean, probably high school! (20ish years) P I T I F U L -- the cold air was a shock to my lungs, my legs were like jelly from the squats -- I started at the back of the pack. This was difficult for me... left behind, watching everyone off on a great pace, and I was struggling just to look like I was jogging. I made it to Martins and the jog turned into a walk... now everyone had made the turn and were headed back to the finish line, I hadn't even found the half way point! I round the corner and see the half way point... my lungs were talking back, the cough was coming on. I made the turn and headed back to the finish line. I see the girls running back from the finish line... they came back for me... I picked up my walking pace. (Tears are falling as I write this.) They encouraged me and asked if I thought I could jog it out to the finish line... I pushed through my mental hurtle and I jogged the rest of the way to the finish line, with the girls at my side cheering me on. I was dead last, but at the same time... I finished 1/2 a mile in under 8 minutes -- that in itself is an accomplishment for me. It probably looked weak and pathetic to the faster runners who were probably wanting to curse me for taking so long, but just 2 years ago, I couldn't walk a mile in 16 minutes! For me, this run, while painful and intimidating, showed me that I CAN accomplish big things!

At the end of our class, we took pictures. I had mine taking in my sportsbra tank and my yoga pants. I'm going to try and get a copy of the picture from Rachel so that I can post it here for you all to see. It is NOT pretty, by any stretch of anyone's imagination!

I felt really weak at the end of class. Lots of coughing. The drive home was tough, my foot was shaking as I pressed the gas pedal. Today was ONLY the assessment, the workout comes on Thursday. I'm scared!!! I better remember my food journal or we have to do FIFTY push ups!!!

Surprisingly, I'm not ready to go lay in my bed and take a nap. I've gotten Caity ready for the day, fixed breakfast for two of the kiddos, and I'll fix the other two and I some breakfast shortly. I'm definitely hungry, even after having a banana and a mini luna bar on the way to the treehouse. I am sure I'll be ready for bed early tonight. Let's hope work is light this evening, so that I can climb right in my bed and rest up.

If anyone wants to meet up tomorrow for an hour walk or something cardio, let me know! I have to do at least 3 hours of cardio on my own, outside of class each week. Walking counts!!! Tennis counts, TOO, so if anyone wants to play tennis, let me know!

On the way home from treehouse, I had some fun encounters with nature. A beautiful albino squirrel crossed in front of my car. And then when I turned into my neighborhood, a big deer was standing in the middle of the street watching me. I slowed down and let her know she was in no danger. She looked back behind her and then 3 or 4 more deer came out onto the street with her and then they darted off into the woods. So beautiful!

So, I survived day 1. Thanks for your prayers, your encouragement and your support! I know I cannot do this alone.